Author: D.V. Berkom

DV Berkom grew up in the Midwest region of the US, received her BA in Political Science from the University of Minnesota and promptly moved to Mexico to live on a sailboat. Several years and at least a dozen moves later, she now lives outside of Seattle, Washington with her sweetheart Mark, an ex-chef-turned-contractor, and writes in the male point of view whenever she gets a chance. Indies Unlimited: https://indiesunlimited.com/author/d-v-berkom/ Amazon US author page link: http://www.amazon.com/DV-Berkom/e/B004EVOYH6 Website: www.dvberkom.com

Is That Satire or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” – Mark Twain.

Satire n. (from the Free Dictionary)

1.

a. A literary work in which human vice or folly is attacked through irony, derision, or wit.
b. The branch of literature constituting such works.

2. Irony, sarcasm, or caustic wit used to attack or expose folly, vice, or stupidity.

Even if you didn’t know the definition of satire before you read the above paragraph, you’ve more than likely read it or watched it on television. South Park, The Daily Show and The Colbert Report are examples of modern satire. Mark Twain was considered a brilliant satirist. Jonathan Swift, of Gulliver’s Travels fame, was a gifted satirist. Dorothy Parker is a personal favorite. The Onion is a news satire organization that has been around since 1988.

It’s everywhere.

Poking fun at society’s idiosyncrasies is an age-old vehicle to reveal humanity’s foibles and is an entertaining outlet for writers and other artists in a *free* society. And, it’s a heck of a lot of fun to write. I’ve used satire to poke fun at politicians, serial killers, reality shows and the like. It’s all in good fun and readers get a glimpse of my (twisted) view of the world. That’s one of the things I love about satire: reading it is a sure-fire way to view the world through another’s eyes. It makes life more fun and I remember not to take myself or my own views quite so seriously. Continue reading “Is That Satire or Are You Just Happy to See Me?”

Writing is Not an Entitlement Program

I demand a hefty advance!

I was having a nice chat the other day with a friend who’s a fellow author and the owner of an eBook publishing company. She was regaling me with stories from the trenches: namely, book submissions from diva authors.

“Then he sent me an email insisting he was expecting a six-figure advance for his fantasy tome, even after he’d read the contract and agreed to the percentage split,” she said, laughing and shaking her head.

My mouth dropped open in surprise. (Note to readers: this is an unattractive expression, and I don’t recommend it. The flies are annoying.) Continue reading “Writing is Not an Entitlement Program”

Uploading Images and Text to Kindle

So you’ve finished your magnum opus and want to try your hand at uploading to KDP (the Kindle Direct Publishing platform). Congratulations! Except, the upload instructions you’ve managed to find are for text only and your manuscript has both text and images. Or, you’ve found the ‘Zon’s instructions, but try as you might, the images aren’t showing up in the preview.

I’m here to help

First of all, you need to make sure your images have been inserted into your .doc rather than cut and pasted. First, open your manuscript in Word. Place your cursor where you want the image to go in the document. Next, click Insert (at the top of the page), then click on Picture and choose the image you want to insert. Click Insert. Continue reading “Uploading Images and Text to Kindle”

Writing POV: The Opposite Sex

“I can’t believe a woman wrote this!”

There I am, minding my own business, pounding away on my keyboard, trying to get a little quality writing time in, when my sister calls to tell me someone she barely knew told her the above after she’d read a book I’d written. At first I was a tad miffed. How could someone even question my womanliness? I mean, I shower daily and apply eye liner. I enjoy foo foo stuff like candles and perfume. I even like watching historical films and the occasional rom-com. Continue reading “Writing POV: The Opposite Sex”