Dammitol

[Indies Unlimited is made possible in part by support from the people at Leary Funkeceuticals, makers of Dammitol.]

Is your day filled with stress? Are your nights sleepless, your love life fifty shades of bland?

Life hasn’t turned out much like you imagined, has it? Not to worry. Our certified groove-ologists here at Leary Funkeceuticals have the answer for you.

See, that stress is gonna be there no matter what, but you don’t have to care about it, and with Dammitol, you won’t!

Colors will smell brighter, people will taste more interesting, and food will talk better. Dammitol contains a groundbreaking mellowing agent that helps you put it all in perspective. Sure, at the next staff meeting, when your boss asks if anyone has any questions, you might raise your hand and ask who invented the cheese grater. So what? Has all that paying attention and playing it straight gotten you where you wanna be?

Best of all, there are no scary side-effects to worry about. As freelance pharmaceutical engineers, we don’t run our stuff past the FDA. Man, those suits were always harshing our buzz.

Interested in trying Dammitol? Our representatives can be found on a street corner near you. Just, you know, be cool.

Leary Funkeceuticals, home of the happiest lab rats in the world. Peace.