When I was 12 or 13, things started getting weird. I had to do everything an even number of times. I started worrying about germs a lot. I worried about what other people were thinking about me. I worried, period. I began to over-analyze EVERYTHING. Including my tendency toward over-analysis. I did not want to touch anyone or be touched. I did not know what was going on. I was ashamed. It wasn’t until years later, reading Howard Stern’s book ‘Private Parts’, that I realized that I was not the only one who did these things and felt this way. That there was even a name for it. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Since then, things have gotten better. I don’t worry about even numbers really. Germs are still an issue. I have come to terms with the fact that I think very differently than most people. Self-medication worked from about age 17-22, but it almost killed me. I even tried medication from the doctor. That did kill me. It took away the OCD, but it also changed my personality. I didn’t realize this at the time. In hindsight, while I might have been ‘happier’, I like being me…germphobia and all. Continue reading “Writing and OCD. Writing and OCD.”