Author: Stephen Hise

The importance of writing (to the writer) is a frequent subject of discussion among authors. I have had interviews that asked some variation of the question, “What would you do if you couldn’t write?” I’ve seen authors go so far as to say they would just simply die if they couldn’t write. Many authors seem to regard writing as a calling to some high work. It defines them. It is who they are. Continue reading “Confessions of an Apostate in the High Priesthood”

Once again, I’ve taken some of the lesser-known quotes from some great authors and improved upon them by adding just a few extra words. Why? I’m bored—that’s why. Continue reading “Feel Free to Misquote Me #2”

In 1830, Edward George Bulwer-Lytton (an English politician, poet, playwright, and novelist) penned the infamous opening line, “It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents–except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.”

These words are widely regarded as the prime example of a bad opening line. I’m not sure why that is so. I am no literary scholar, but I am sure I have read worse. Dickens’ opening lines for A Christmas Carol come to mind.

Nonetheless, the English Department at San Jose State University has sponsored the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest since 1982. This is a whimsical competition that challenges entrants to pen the worst opening sentences  for a novel their imaginations can conjure.  Well, I suppose it’s all good fun till somebody loses an eye. Continue reading “It Was a Dark and Stormy Contest”

I have a few author friends who like to post great quotes by great authors. That’s all well and good, but even the greatest authors didn’t walk around crapping diamonds all day. Some of their quotes are—how shall I say this? Meh.

I just think that’s unfair to their legacies. Below the fold, I’ve taken some of the lesser-known quotes from some great authors and jazzed them up a bit by adding my own personal flair. I turned the awesome up to eleven, baby! I think I made it pretty seamless, though. See if you can pick out any difference. Continue reading “Feel Free to Misquote Me”