Tag: satire

NewsBites: Fresh and Hot!

NewsBitesGather ’round, my indies. Closer…closer… too close! It’s time to hear wondrous tales of fact and fancy and all sorts of what-not – the buzz, the 4-1-1, the low-down, the skinny.

We track down the truth, no matter how many mouse-clicks it takes to get to it.

Today’s NewsBites is brought to you by Wyer’s Cheese: Strong enough for a man, but made for a human.

First up, Indies Unlimited, Carol E. Wyer has a problem and needs your help. Her non-fiction book How Not to Murder Your Grumpy is a finalist for the People’s Book Prize Award and she’s been invited to attend the awards ceremony in London on May 28th when the winner will be announced.

When she got the email, she got over- excited and bought a new dress for the event and now has to justify the expenditure to her grumpy old man who has told her the book won’t win.

Please can you help prove him wrong and bring harmony to the household by voting for her book? You’ll find the bright yellow cover on the finalist page. You need to register to carol wyervote. (That only involves an email address and collecting a password from http://www.peoplesbookprize.com/how_vote.htm) Then, please assist an IU minion and vote for her book?

Voting is from 21st May to 27th May.

How about it? Can ya help a sistah out?.

Round two of the Author Earning Report is out and shows self-published authors are earning 27% more than traditionally published authors for ebooks published since 2011. Just looking at my sales, I have to say I am not at all sure I am holding up my end. Continue reading “NewsBites: Fresh and Hot!”

Video Guest Post: Write Write Write

This evening, we have a video guest post from Ken La Salle. In a humorous parody of Paint Paint Paint (a PBS series), Ken looks at what might be a typical day of creation for a writer.

Author and playwright, Ken La Salle has brought his shows to stages from Los Angeles to New York to San Francisco. You can learn more about Ken from his website at www.kenlasalle.com and see his books on his Amazon.com Author’s Page.

Golden Skunk Awards

This Book StinksEverybody knows that books with little gold stickers on the cover are favored by book consumers. That’s why they are there, and why awards cost so much.

But, even with the abundance of cheesy little awards nobody ever heard of, it can still be difficult to win.

Breakthrough research we are just about to conduct will show that even though book consumers prefer books with little gold seals on the cover, 90% of those consumers don’t even bother to read the writing on the seal to know what it says. Of the 10% who do read the sticker, 0.0003% know the significance of it. All they know is if it’s got a gold seal on the cover, it has to be good!

Or does it?

Just because a book isn’t good doesn’t mean it can’t be a bestseller. Just look at the bestseller list, for crying out loud. Oh, the humanity! What do those books have that yours don’t? A little gold sticker.

Now your book can have that same cachet and become an overnight success, skyrocketing your sales*. The Golden Skunk Award is not given on the basis of merit, we award them to whoever pays. Sure, you can gamble away hundreds of dollars on a chance at winning a little gold sticker for your book, or you can pay us $100 and get one for sure!

But, don’t take our word for it. Here is a look at the Golden Skunk in action:

Upgrade before and afterBe honest. Which book would you buy? Of course, you’d buy the one with the little gold seal on the cover. That’s what everyone does!

Order yours today!

*Your results may vary.

Used Pixel Warehouse

warehouseDid you ever wonder what editors do with all the pixels from the text they delete from manuscripts?

In the bad old days, they were just deleted. In today’s economy, we can no longer afford such wastefulness.

Thanks to breakthrough technology, these unwanted pixels can now be harvested and re-purposed for use by other authors. At Used Pixel Warehouse, we make these pixels available for bulk purchase at discount prices. Why pay full price for the pixels you use?

Just wire us the purchase price of a box of pixels, and we’ll upload them to your computer. You won’t even know the difference. We guarantee it!

Isn’t it about time you did your part to save the planet? Call Used Pixel Warehouse today!