Everybody knows that books with little gold stickers on the cover are favored by book consumers. That’s why they are there, and why awards cost so much.
But, even with the abundance of cheesy little awards nobody ever heard of, it can still be difficult to win.
Breakthrough research we are just about to conduct will show that even though book consumers prefer books with little gold seals on the cover, 90% of those consumers don’t even bother to read the writing on the seal to know what it says. Of the 10% who do read the sticker, 0.0003% know the significance of it. All they know is if it’s got a gold seal on the cover, it has to be good!
Or does it?
Just because a book isn’t good doesn’t mean it can’t be a bestseller. Just look at the bestseller list, for crying out loud. Oh, the humanity! What do those books have that yours don’t? A little gold sticker.
Now your book can have that same cachet and become an overnight success, skyrocketing your sales*. The Golden Skunk Award is not given on the basis of merit, we award them to whoever pays. Sure, you can gamble away hundreds of dollars on a chance at winning a little gold sticker for your book, or you can pay us $100 and get one for sure!
But, don’t take our word for it. Here is a look at the Golden Skunk in action:
Be honest. Which book would you buy? Of course, you’d buy the one with the little gold seal on the cover. That’s what everyone does!
Order yours today!
*Your results may vary.
25 thoughts on “Golden Skunk Awards”
I really needed a laf tonight. Got it.
Hahaha, that’s so funny.
I think you need two: One over the title and one over the author’s name 🙂
Hey wait a minute! That’s not a seal, it’s some kind of woodland animal!
What I want to know is–are they scratch ‘n’ sniff?
Eau de Flower
I want one!
I love it! I must ask my printer to make me a roll of little gold star stickers!
But surely, aren’t Golden Skunk stickers meant for books that stink? Are they related t the Darwin Awards?
Love the sticker!
On the serious side, do you recommend putting gold seals for awards on your book covers, if you have received them? You are right, readers do not know what they mean. But have studies shown that they do increase sales?
I am not aware of any actual studies that relate to this. One can only presume that publishers do it because it works, and yes, I think if your book has received an award, you should put that on the cover. 🙂
My morning smile. (oh, and for those too young to remember Flower was Bambi’s skunk friend in the Disney movie)
Thanks for the laugh. I have to admit, I didn’t even notice the seal when I first looked, guess that’s only me or maybe it’s not that important to everyone… That said, there are so many that mean nothing but some remain respected- not mentioning names but they are out there.
But… if you seal the book, nobody will be able to read it… (groan)
Another benefit! That way it stays in mint condition and its value as a collectible will skyrocket. 😉
Stephen – Who cares about its value as a collectible? I want people to value my books because they are worth reading, not because they’re worth a few dollars stacked on a shelf unread.
I don’t buy books which I can’t look inside and I don’t expect other people to either, so I don’t want them all sealed up.
It’s just a joke, Ian.
Sure, I realised that, but I like the idea of a skunk as the symbol for books that stink!
I was so proud of my gold seal that I had it bronzed.
Hmm…debating…that little seal could be a prestigious award someday…should I pony up now or not?…hmm…. 😉
Is a Golden Seal further up the literary evolutionary scale than a Skunk, then? I must discover this intriguing hierarchy. It keeps me chuckling !
Since most of my books are about Africa perhaps I need to aim for a Golden Warthog? Or a Hippo?
Here! Take my money… please! Gotta have one of those little critters. 🙂
Do they have Golden Roo awards for Aussie writing, and Golden Camel awards for writers from the Middle East?
And what about writers from the frozen north? The idea of a Golden Polar Bear somehow doesn’t gel, with those critters being so white and all. Perhaps it would have to be a Golden Reindeer award.
The mind boggles!
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