Royce Sears is the Readers’ Choice in this week’s Indies Unlimited Flash Fiction Challenge. The winning entry is decided by the popular vote and rewarded with a special feature here today. (In the case of a tie, the writer who submitted an entry first is the winner per our rules.) Without further ado, here’s the winning entry:
by Royce Sears
The lights went out as the last employee left the grocery store. Long moments passed before anything happened, then the Pringles cans shifted and hopped off their selves.
“Ahh, it feels good to stretch. I thought they’d never leave.”
The bags of Fritos leapt from their shelves to join the Pringles cans. “Yep, sure does feel good, though I don’t see how you can stretch much in that can,” they snickered.
“Oh, look, the cheap chips decided to join us. You’re just half-full bags of air. What would you know?”
“Hey guys, relax, chill out… Why’s everything always gotta be so intense ‘round here anyway? We’re all just potato chips of one kind or another,” the bags of Cheetos chimed in.
“Speak fer yerselves, we ain’t no salty chips,” the bottles of Mountain Dew called from their perch high upon the shelves, “just pure mountain goodness right here.”
“Yeah, but the Pringles have always thought they were better than us, just because they come in a can and they have that weird shape,” the Funyuns said as they joined the potato chip party on the floor of the grocery store.
“Can’t we all just get along, man?” said the Cheetos.
The Pringles cans rolled away from the rest, “The whole lot of you are nothing but uncultured junk foods, and when you can explain the meaning of hyperbolic paraboloid or you too were designed by a supercomputer, feel free to speak to us. Until then, piss off!”