Pat Mills Wins Flash Fiction Challenge

Pat Mills is the Readers’ Choice in this week’s Indies Unlimited Flash Fiction Challenge. The winning entry is decided by the popular vote and rewarded with a special feature here today. (In the case of a tie, the writer who submitted an entry first is the winner per our rules.) Without further ado, here’s the winning story:


organ mountains rocks feb 2017 copyright KS Brooks
Photo copyright K. S. Brooks. Do not use without attribution.

by Pat Mills 

Ashley check the mail before leaving with her boyfriend, Brandon. She had sent away to have her DNA analyzed, and she was excited about receiving the results. Ashley had reached a point in her life where she wanted to belong to something or someone. Ashley read that the report would tell you if you shared ancestry with a famous person.

Enjoying a challenge, Ashley and Brandon went to hike at Organ Mountain-Desert Peaks.

They stopped at their favorite place; where the base of granite opened to reveal a heart-shaped folder with a steady stream of water dripping from the underside. Ashley always heard crying.

“It looks like someone broke someone’s heart,” Ashley remarked.

Brandon held her hand as she jumped down from the rocks. “Maybe we should take our relationship to the next level,” Brandon said.

“What do you mean?”

“Move in together…? Brandon kidded.

“I don’t know…” Ashley could hear the crying getting louder. “I really don’t like the idea, unless I’m engaged.”

“With a ring like this one ?” Brandon asked, pulling a velvet box out of his pocket.

“Oh, Brandon, this is a nice surprise. I love you!”

“I thought I’d better get to it, before you find out you are royalty or something.” He smiled.

Author: Administrators

All Indies Unlimited staff members, including the admins, are volunteers who work for free. If you enjoy what you read here - all for free - please share with your friends, like us on Facebook and Twitter, and if you don't know how to thank us for all this great, free content - feel free to make a donation! Thanks for being here.

6 thoughts on “Pat Mills Wins Flash Fiction Challenge”

    1. Thank-you Jim !
      I didn’t think I would make the deadline on that story.
      As often is the case, it started out as a much bigger story. I had to change the whole story to come up with a smaller concept.
      Your story was very interesting. I read it over a few times, sharing it with my husband and son. We all enjoyed it!

  1. Thank-you Mary Kay!
    I am glad you enjoyed it. The subject of the ’23& me’ type of DNA testing was a hot topic with my son and friends -20 something crowd. I told them I’m not brave enough to find out something I may not want to know. Lol!

  2. At least you make it by the last minute!
    I am glad for your feedback that you and yours enjoyed my entry. Thank you.

  3. Well written story, Pat, thanks for it. The DNA issue reminded me of when I was a young child and my grandfather told me that he had paid $5,000 to have his family lineage traced, and then $10,000 to keep it quiet.

Comments are closed.