Celebrating Independent Authors
[Indies Unlimited is brought to you in part by the Intergalactic Outreach and Probing Council.]
May is UFO Mating Month. It’s that special time of the year when the skies fill with the cosmic radiation of love.
Remember though, just because you might catch us with our “shields” down doesn’t mean it’s okay to shoot at us.
If you don’t want to watch, don’t look up. Party on!
How many times a day do people ask you for advice on how to write or publish or market a book? It can get frustrating and become a time-suck. Can you imagine if you were a doctor, a lawyer, an accountant, or a mechanic? You’d never be giving your time away for free, would you?
Well, here at the Indies Unlimited Laboratories, we’ve come up with the perfect invention for you: the amazing Automated Reciprocator!
This machine is so brilliant, so intuitive, and so easy to use, you’ll wish we invented it years ago – but only after you got published, right?
The directions for use are simple. Before you put it into service, however, you need to make a list of the things you need, or the things you’re willing to barter for. The Automated Reciprocator can’t help you get your due until you perform this initial step. Not sure what you need/want? Here’s a list of most commonly requested items: Continue reading “The Automated Reciprocator”
[Indies Unlimited is made possible in part by support from the people at Leary Funkeceuticals, makers of Dammitol.]
Is your day filled with stress? Are your nights sleepless, your love life fifty shades of bland?
Life hasn’t turned out much like you imagined, has it? Not to worry. Our certified groove-ologists here at Leary Funkeceuticals have the answer for you.
See, that stress is gonna be there no matter what, but you don’t have to care about it, and with Dammitol, you won’t!
Colors will smell brighter, people will taste more interesting, and food will talk better. Dammitol contains a groundbreaking mellowing agent that helps you put it all in perspective. Sure, at the next staff meeting, when your boss asks if anyone has any questions, you might raise your hand and ask who invented the cheese grater. So what? Has all that paying attention and playing it straight gotten you where you wanna be?
Best of all, there are no scary side-effects to worry about. As freelance pharmaceutical engineers, we don’t run our stuff past the FDA. Man, those suits were always harshing our buzz.
Interested in trying Dammitol? Our representatives can be found on a street corner near you. Just, you know, be cool.
Leary Funkeceuticals, home of the happiest lab rats in the world. Peace.
[Indies Unlimited is brought to you in part by Pow Chemical, a wholly-owned subsidiary of the munitions division of UNIBANK Financial Services International.]
Earth Day is finally over again, and the last of the hippies have pried themselves from the tree trunks. At last, life can go on. And that’s thanks to chemicals. At Pow Chemicals, that’s what we make, and do you know where we find the ingredients we use to manufacture all the stuff we make? Right here on good old Mother Earth.
That’s right, greenies, that means our chemicals are all natural! So, in celebration of Earth Day, we’re proud to introduce our new “Mother Nature Approved” labeling for all our products from poison to napalm. They’re all made from completely natural chemicals.
By the way, we experienced a minor unscheduled product release. Some of those chemicals may have left residue on that tree you were hugging. If so, I guess we won’t see you around next Earth Day. Still, you might wanna wash that area off with some of our trusty and effective Pow.cleanser. It’s Mother Nature Approved!