Phoque It

This is an early draft of a sales pitch. Please correct and edit before release. Under no circumstances should this be allowed to see the light of day in its current state.

Dear readers, writers, book industry people,

Seal Of Approval

It’s become a cliché to claim there’s a veritable Pacific Ocean of crapola out there in the indie book world. But that cliché is not even a good analogy, really, so we’re going to turn it on its head. No, instead of an ocean, what we see is a vast floating island of ugly unbiodegradable plastic that grows vaster and uglier by the day. It’s at least as ugly as the word “unbiodegradable”. And we want to clean it up. Now, is there anything living in the ocean we can all get behind? Excluding those mean, club-wielding Canadians, that is? Wait, club-wielding Canadians are aquatic? Seals, of course!

With their large innocent eyes, playful natures and smooth, round torsos, pretty much everyone adores Canadians seals. Since we all approve of seals, it makes sense you will want to pay me to stamp your book with the “seal” of “approval” (clever, huh?). And since the French for seal is “phoque”, our company’s name almost writes itself: Phoque It. Geddit? It’s almost too perfect. Don’t know about you, but I’m giddy already. Continue reading “Phoque It”

Moving the Velvet Rope – by Stephen Hise

There are and have long been exclusive clubs. Some exert their exclusivity through means of social status or wealth. That’s why Cousin Eddie won’t be seen golfing at Snobmore Country Club. Others use the velvet rope and a bouncer who makes the individual decision as to whether someone is cool enough to get in. Often, the decisions of the bouncer seem enigmatic, capricious, and objectionable to those on the wrong side of the velvet rope.

That model of exclusivity is the one used (or perhaps imposed) by the traditional publishing industry. Their idea being to preserve the integrity of the written word by selectively choosing those who would produce the written word. What a great idea. I wonder how that worked out. Continue reading “Moving the Velvet Rope – by Stephen Hise”

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