Never let it be said that I, your intrepid reporter, won’t go to the ends of the indie author universe for you. To mark Indies Unlimited’s second blogiversary, I have done just that! Well, not exactly. But I did venture down into the bowels of our nuclear-powered Death Star to interview the man who keeps everything around here running tickety-boo: our chief engineer, Tavish MacTavish. Continue reading “LynneQuisition: Tavish MacTavish, Nuclear Death Star Chief Engineer”
Category: Fake-Outs
The Total Idiot’s Guide to Stupidity for Dummies
You’re smart. Peers seek out your counsel. You are the boss’s go-to person for the most challenging projects. Your friends ask for your advice on every decision. How’s that working out for you?
You’re surrounded by incompetents and work for morons. Every project that comes along gets dumped on you because the supervisor knows you’re smart enough to figure it out. Down the hall, that bozo Johnson whiles his day away playing Worlds of Warthogs.
If you’ve always believed intelligence would get you somewhere in life, you’re right. It got you where you are – overworked, underpaid, and perpetually mobbed by people who refuse to think for themselves. Ready for a change?
In The Total Idiot’s Guide to Stupidity for Dummies, you’ll learn the hidden power of stupidity. That’s right. Look around and you will realize something. The top celebrities, politicians, and the barons of Wall Street are all dumb as a box of rocks.
When you tap into the power of your own inner stupidity, you’ll find advancement and prosperity no longer elude you. Your workload will decrease, your day will no longer be filled with petty annoyances.
Here is just a sample of the treasures you’ll get when you buy The Total Idiot’s Guide to Stupidity for Dummies:
The seven key words you can misuse to make people think you are stupid;
101 stupid ways to respond when the boss asks if there are any questions;
How to look vacuous when someone is explaining something;
Top tricks for tuning out vital instructions; AND
How to make wardrobe choices that lower other people’s expectations of you.
Learn why they say ignorance is bliss and start bumbling your way to success with The Total Idiot’s Guide to Stupidity for Dummies. Remember, even if you only have average intelligence, you’re still smarter than 50% of the people. Are you willing to take that chance?
PSA # 32: Cybertoxicity Check
Have you been spending too much time on social media?
The real world can be disorienting and a little disappointing in comparison to the digital experience. Real people dislike it when you try to find and click their like buttons.
Too many hours online can result in cybertoxicity. Untreated, this disorder can leave victims detached from reality. Here is a checklist of seven questions to help determine whether you are at risk:
Introducing ReviewBot!
[Indies Unlimited is proud to be sponsored in part by ReviewBot, an innovative technology from EvilCo.]
Have you toiled for months to produce a fascinating eBook? Did you do all the right things to promote it, giving away thousands of copies, only to find no one is posting reviews? Those days are over!
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The program works by simply installing a few thousand lines of code at the end of your regular MOBI file. Once your book is downloaded, ReviewBot will provide up to two weeks for the customer to finish the book and post a review. If they don’t, ReviewBot will log on to their Amazon account by reverse-engineering the process they used to download your book, and will post a review on their behalf!
ReviewBot uses a sophisticated review language randomizer so that each review is uniquely worded. The analyzer will assign a star-rating that is equal to the modal value of the reviews already on your book, or automatically assign five stars if your book has less than ten reviews.
Just imagine the impact on your book’s position in the Amazon algorithms. With ReviewBot, your book will have stars enough to outshine titles by the big publishers, getting you the attention you deserve!
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DISCLAIMER: The FCCCP has not approved ReviewBot for areas with heavy military or civilian air traffic or near areas in which flammable materials are stored. Aim ReviewBot away from face. Do not use heavy solvents to clean ReviewBot. If a rash develops or persists, contact your dermatologist. That doesn’t have anything to do with ReviewBot – it’s just good advice.