Gift Baskets for the Holidays!

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Whether you know someone who’s involved in a secretive paramilitary organization or someone who’s got a really bad rabbit problem, the Grenade-O-Gram Gift Basket is the perfect choice for bringing holiday cheer, birthday greetings, or just to say, “I care.”

Who among us has not fantasized about pulling the pin and lobbing a live one just like Rambo? Maybe your neighborhood is infested with zombies, vampires or worse.

Our gift baskets work for all occasions. You can choose from teargas, flash-bang, high-energy explosives, thermal and fragmentation grenades, OR you can mix and match!

Why not order our special twelve-pack ARMY OF ONE assortment and cover all the bases?

We deliver right to your door. Call 1-800-GRENADES today!

The Total Idiot’s Guide to Stupidity for Dummies

You’re smart. Peers seek out your counsel. You are the boss’s go-to person for the most challenging projects. Your friends ask for your advice on every decision. How’s that working out for you?

You’re surrounded by incompetents and work for morons. Every project that comes along gets dumped on you because the supervisor knows you’re smart enough to figure it out. Down the hall, that bozo Johnson whiles his day away playing Worlds of Warthogs.

If you’ve always believed intelligence would get you somewhere in life, you’re right. It got you where you are – overworked, underpaid, and perpetually mobbed by people who refuse to think for themselves. Ready for a change?

In The Total Idiot’s Guide to Stupidity for Dummies, you’ll learn the hidden power of stupidity. That’s right. Look around and you will realize something. The top celebrities, politicians, and the barons of Wall Street are all dumb as a box of rocks.

When you tap into the power of your own inner stupidity, you’ll find advancement and prosperity no longer elude you. Your workload will decrease, your day will no longer be filled with petty annoyances.

Here is just a sample of the treasures you’ll get when you buy The Total Idiot’s Guide to Stupidity for Dummies:

The seven key words you can misuse to make people think you are stupid;

101 stupid ways to respond when the boss asks if there are any questions;

How to look vacuous when someone is explaining something;

Top tricks for tuning out vital instructions; AND

How to make wardrobe choices that lower other people’s expectations of you.

Learn why they say ignorance is bliss and start bumbling your way to success with The Total Idiot’s Guide to Stupidity for Dummies. Remember, even if you only have average intelligence, you’re still smarter than 50% of the people. Are you willing to take that chance?

Introducing ReviewBot!

[Indies Unlimited is proud to be sponsored in part by ReviewBot, an innovative technology from EvilCo.]

Have you toiled for months to produce a fascinating eBook? Did you do all the right things to promote it, giving away thousands of copies, only to find no one is posting reviews? Those days are over!

ReviewBot is an innovative technological advance aimed at making sure the people who download your book follow through with reviews.

The program works by simply installing a few thousand lines of code at the end of your regular MOBI file. Once your book is downloaded, ReviewBot will provide up to two weeks for the customer to finish the book and post a review. If they don’t, ReviewBot will log on to their Amazon account by reverse-engineering the process they used to download your book, and will post a review on their behalf!

ReviewBot uses a sophisticated review language randomizer so that each review is uniquely worded. The analyzer will assign a star-rating that is equal to the modal value of the reviews already on your book, or automatically assign five stars if your book has less than ten reviews.

Just imagine the impact on your book’s position in the Amazon algorithms. With ReviewBot, your book will have stars enough to outshine titles by the big publishers, getting you the attention you deserve!

Why toil in obscurity any longer? Order yours today!


DISCLAIMER: The FCCCP has not approved ReviewBot for areas with heavy military or civilian air traffic or near areas in which flammable materials are stored. Aim ReviewBot away from face. Do not use heavy solvents to clean ReviewBot. If a rash develops or persists, contact your dermatologist. That doesn’t have anything to do with ReviewBot – it’s just good advice.

Introducing EmotiCovers

That’s right, everyone loves emoticons. In this text-speaking light speed, digitized world, those little smileys can communicate ideas we don’t have the time or patience to type out ourselves.

But why not use this revolutionary social phenomenon when designing your book cover? The emoticon has the advantage of high recognition and creates an instant comfort in the mind of your prospective buyers.

EmotiCovers taps into the hidden power of the emoticon by replacing drab, conventional cover art with bright, eye-catching emoticons. Whatever the genre or subject of your book, there’s an emoticon waiting for it!

Call today. Our operators are standing by!