Tag: satire

No Writing Allowed

KSBrooks at Mesa Verde
Or you could just go somewhere with no internet and no electricity.

Let’s face it, writing a book is hard work. You might even break a sweat, or pop a cog in your brain. Who wants to do that? So, enter November – NaNoWriMo – National No Writing Month. This is one month where we authors, writers and scribes can legitimately rest our brains from the toils of our literary efforts. I know, I know, it won’t be easy – so here are some tips to keep yourself from writing that book without losing your edge.

#1 – Committees and meetings are an excellent way to prevent progress on any level. So, form a committee for your book! Find a bunch of people who also write and invite them to your own Yahoo!, Facebook, or Goodreads group. If you can actually get them to pay attention to anything you have to say in between announcements of their free eBooks and basic spamming, you might get some input. That input will probably spark a discussion. That discussion will most likely get sidetracked onto the subject of kittens or television shows. See? It works. Continue reading “No Writing Allowed”

Ed’s Casual Friday: Quoth the Indie…

Of all the traditional filler material any blogger or columnist might be tempted to use for a last post before Halloween, there is probably nothing so hackneyed, so stale, and so overdone as a parody of Edgar Allan Poe’s poem, The Raven.

So here we go. 😉

 

 

Continue reading “Ed’s Casual Friday: Quoth the Indie…”

A Frustrated Fairy Tale

Fairy Tale Author
Fairy Tale Author

Once upon a time, there was a lovely author. She was smart, and sexy, sassy and…okay, okay, I said it was a fairy tale, remember? Anyway, she’d been writing her whole life, and finally finished her first novel. Now, this gorgeous author was alive back in the days before there was internet. Yes, I know, that was a very long time ago. You probably weren’t even born yet! But such a time did exist. Ha, ha, very funny. Yes, there was electricity. And typewriters. You’ve probably never seen one of those, have you, smarty pants?

This voluptuous writer, her dream was to have her book represented by the William Morris Agency in New York City. She sat in their waiting room when she was 15 years old, just watching the goings on. It was a magical afternoon in the city that never sleeps. She believed it was her destiny. How could she be denied?

Fast forward to the 1990s. The author’s first manuscript was complete. It was an action-adventure novel which would rival Ian Fleming and definitely kick Clive Cussler’s far-fetched ass. She was ready. She contacted William Morris. They wanted it. Months went by. The vice president had taken an interest. Three readers read it. Things were happening, indeed. Continue reading “A Frustrated Fairy Tale”

Bob Hammond, Author at Large

Hi everyone. I’m Bob Hammond. You probably know me as the author of international runaway bestselling series such as Fifty Shades of Twilight and The Hunger Game of Thrones. I’m kind of a big deal.

I’m here because I care about people—little people like you. Also, I lost a bet to Hise, but mostly, the caring thing.

The upshot is that I’ll be putting my very valuable expertise and experience at your disposal for as long as it takes for the check to clear. You’ll be getting tips and access to insights from a Diamond-level member of the Very Prestigious Author’s Association (VPAA). Don’t bother trying to look up the VPAA, you can’t. You don’t look them up—they look you up, and then only if they’re interested in you. And they’re not. Continue reading “Bob Hammond, Author at Large”