Getting It Right: Hot Tubbing

The hot water nearly singed her skin as she submerged, completely naked. She protected her breasts from burning with her hands, slowly removing them after the water was over her chest. Yet it was soothing, and as the water came up to her chin she could feel herself melting and becoming one with it. The heat seeped into her body’s sculpted musculature. The sky, still clear, served as a deep black canvas for constellations, stars, planets and the haze of the Milky Way. One star, just above the tree line, glittered in red and blue hues. Kathrin rolled her head all the way around, then touched her chin to her chest. She let her head fall back on the cushion. With both the underwater light and the jets off, she let the sights and sounds of the night surround her. The babbling of the brook just below the house echoed off the trees, magnifying its steady rush into that of a stronger river. A night bird called out. An owl answered. Steam rose up from the tub. Continue reading “Getting It Right: Hot Tubbing”

Formula for a Romance Bestseller

The Kiss of Night
All romantic blockbusters should have smoking hot women and half naked men.

[This is a satirical article. If you want instruction on how to write a romance novel from someone who actually knows what they’re talking about, try this article. – The Administrators.]

In my last installment, I shared with you the formula for writing a blockbuster action/adventure bestseller. I really can’t believe you missed it, but in case you did, you can read it here. In this installment, I’m going to give you the top secret formula for writing the romance novel that people just can’t resist. That includes the people in Hollywood. They’re going to be banging down your door to get their hands on this one, so watch out. I hope you’re prepared for all that fame and fortune, because it’s coming!

What makes me think I can tell you how to do this? Well, sure, I haven’t actually written a romance novel, but there is romance in my novels. Also, they filmed Failure to Launch and The Wedding Crashers right near where I lived. Not good enough? I’ve won awards, for crying out loud. Whether they have anything to do with writing doesn’t matter, really. They’re awards. Be impressed and shut up.

Now let’s get to it. Follow my advice below, and you’ll be Hollywood-bound, my friend!

Continue reading “Formula for a Romance Bestseller”

Tutorial: Socl

Our Jim Devitt wrote an introductory post about a new social media platform called Socl. If you missed Jim’s post, you can read it here. Personally, I’m not crazy about any platform that only gives you options to sign in through other social media outlets. I don’t like giving apps access to my Facebook account. But that’s just me. Being a photographer, I figured this was a platform I should check out, so I sucked it up and signed up for Socl. You’re welcome.

Once you’ve given Socl permission to violate you, I mean access you, through Facebook or WindowsLive, you’re good to go. Now you should set up your profile. At the top of the screen, you’ll see the word “me.” Go ahead and click on that and it will bring you to the profile screen at left. Then, click on settings (pink arrow). Continue reading “Tutorial: Socl”

Tribute to 2012

Since I’m pretty sure no one will read this column since it’s the day after Christmas, I wanted to make sure to write something that took little effort. At least that’s what Bob Hammond suggested. And who am I to argue with someone of his stature? In fact, since Bob is such a pro, he suggested I forgo the writing of the column entirely and just run with a special video. At first I thought that was a lazy out, but then I remembered I am lazy, so I was good with it. But, then I looked at how much effort it would take to actually make a video that complex, and I decided to take the REAL lazy way out and just write a list. Therefore, without further ado, here you have my 2012 year in review. And that rhymed. Continue reading “Tribute to 2012”