Getting It Right: Why Women Stay

“Why does she put up with it? Why doesn’t she just leave?”

You’ve all heard it. Maybe you’ve even said it. If you have, consider yourself one of the lucky ones. You never needed to ask yourself that question – or you got out in time. In both cases those that say this often add, “I have no sympathy for her. She just needs to get some backbone.” Continue reading “Getting It Right: Why Women Stay”

Getting It Right: Spousal Abuse

This post was prompted by a few passages and books I have seen that deal with spousal abuse. In my opinion, the patterns of behaviours did not fit what I know, both first hand and from my studies, about this issue. For the record, I have worked in a women’s shelter where I went through an extensive training program.

I wish to state up front that I will use the feminine pronoun for this when I refer to the victim. Yes, I know that men are sometimes abused, too, but this is about a syndrome. Using “she/he” makes for awkward reading. Since nine out of ten victims of spousal abuse are female I think it fair to make that choice. This post is not about arguing gender. Continue reading “Getting It Right: Spousal Abuse”