Don’t Ask…with JD Mader.

Let me share my wisdom.

I am about to admit something that I have never really told anyone. My wife did not know until yesterday. None of my friends know. My family doesn’t know. If you’ve read my stuff before, you know that I am kind of an open book, but there is one thing I have always held back. And now I am going to tell you. And you may look at me differently. I am prepared to accept that. You may hate me or pity me – I understand. I accept the ramifications of this announcement. I am no longer afraid. I am coming out of my closet of shame.  Are you ready?

Since I was six years old, I have wanted to be an advice columnist. Whew. That was hard. When I was little, I read the paper every day. Mostly the comics, but ALWAYS Dear Abby and Ann Landers. I was obsessed with it.  And I knew I would be good at it. Part of the reason I loved teaching is that kids came to me all the time for advice…because I give good, sound, well thought out advice (to everyone but myself).

I can’t follow my own advice, but if you have a problem, I’m your man. I grew up, of course, and moved on to Dan Savage and edgier sages. I love Dan Savage. If I believed being gay was a choice, I would have decided to be gay, moved to Seattle and tried to make Dan Savage fall in love with me.

When I was attending San Francisco State (the last year or so – before the dot com bubble burst), I couldn’t afford to live in the city.  I lived in East Palo Alto (which at the time was the murder capitol of the US). I drove an hour to and from school. And I took night classes because I worked during the day. So I would drive home most nights smoking cigarettes and listening to ‘Love Line’. This was when Adam Corolla was funny and Dr. Drew wasn’t quite so much of a fame whore yet.

This is hard stuff for me to talk about. I was a sports writer for god’s sake.  I write gritty, literary  fiction. An advice column? The SHAME! Oh, god, how I wanted one. It was my secret. I never told a soul.

Recently, David Antrobus, J.L. Murray, and I started a blog called BlergPop. It is basically a place where we put all the stuff that no one else will publish. You should check it out. But the reason you should check it out with a vengeance is because starting tomorrow, I will be doing a weekly advice column every Friday. (I almost just giggled)

People are going to email Q’s to blergpop@gmail.com, and I am going to advise and malign them. It is literally a dream come true. I hope people will send me questions, but I’m not above soliciting them on the street.

I don’t know why I like giving advice so much. Or making fun of people’s problems. But I do. Oh, I do so much. I feel like Charlie when he found the golden ticket. I live in the Bay Area where it rains occasionally. So, choke on that Savage, you sodden bastard. I’m coming for you (but I love you, let’s spoon and talk about people we can offend). So, to conclude. I don’t want your cold or hungry or any of that stuff. I want questions from real people about real problems. And I want Hise to run this post even though he probably shouldn’t. And I want all you six year olds out there reading Indies Unlimited (???) to remember, your dreams can come true (well, probably not, but mine can).

*     *     *     *     *

JD Mader is a Contributing Author for Indies Unlimited and author of the novels JOE CAFÉ and THE BIKER – and co-author of the mighty Bad Book. For more information, please see the IU Bio page and his blog:www.jdmader.com (and musical nonsense here: JD Mader).  Mader’s edgier works can be found at www.blergpop.com.

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Author: JD Mader

JD Mader is an award winning short story writer and novelist. 'Joe Café' and 'The Biker' are out now, as well as 'Please, no eyes'. and the collaborative 'Bad Book'. Mader has been writing for half his life and has no plans on stopping any time soon. Learn more about JD Mader at his blog and his Amazon author page.

40 thoughts on “Don’t Ask…with JD Mader.”

  1. ROFL an advice columnist?

    Dear JD,

    I have writer's block. Oh yea, I know there is no such thing as writer's block, but still the same when I put my fingers on the keyboard, my knuckles lock up.

    What should I do?

    Hey JD – I love it. I need a deep dark secret. ummm

  2. Your opening lines really drew me in. I was waiting with bated breath for this most startling of revelations. An advice columnist. Go for it!

  3. Perfect! There are so many people out there who love seeking advice.

    The San Francisco Chronicle dropped their "Male Call" advice column (with good reason.) Maybe you will eventually become a replacement? Show them your stuff! Will you specialize in advice related to um…relationships?

  4. JD, I would so love to ask for your opinion on something but, as luck would have it, I already know all the answers. True – "why is the sky blue" and "what is the meaning of life" both tripped me up for a little while, but I totally have them figured them out now. So, if you need help at any point with that column, please do connect with me – I'll help a brother out.

    P.S. Totally in agreement with you about the lovability of Mr. Dan Savage :))

    1. 🙂 I just sent provocative pics of myself to Mr. Savage in hopes that he will recognize my existence. I'm THAT guy now.

        1. I actually felt good about it. 😉 I'll send them to you if you want, too. (my version of provocative is me in a tank top) LOL

  5. Hey Dan, Before you rule rule with an iron fist and acerbic wit, please change the background from black to something lighter. What's the good of unreadable advice?

    Otherwise, best of luck in your new endeavor. I know an attorney in Cali that can defend you.

    Neil

    P.S. You had me scared at first, thought you'd want a kiss on the lips when we meet . . . not that there's anything wrong with that. WHEW!

    1. This is interesting. Some people love the white type and some hate it. We should take a poll.

      Yeah, I may need that attorneys #.

  6. -"If I believed being gay was a choice, I would have decided to be gay, moved to Seattle and tried to make Dan Savage fall in love with me."

    I love this!

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