Congrats to A.V. Carden, the readers’ choice in this week’s Indies Unlimited Flash Fiction Challenge.
The winning entry is recognized with a special feature here today and a place in our collection of winners which will be published as an e-book at year end.
Without further ado, here’s the winning story:
Unguided Tour
by A.V. Carden
We ran as fast as we could the screams of the pilot resonating in my brain. Adrenalin pumped my legs with the speed of an athlete.
Only three of us could keep up the pace. I chanced a look backwards. Tony and Mike were a few yards behind but Brad, Wendy and Bill had barely made it half way up the slippery slope.
I almost turned back to help but another high pitched scream curdled the air and I pressed onward into the jungle. After what seemed like hours of forging through thick foliage, I ran out of speed and collapsed onto my knees.
Drenched in sweat, gasping for air I realised I was alone. I’d lost the others along the way. I could hear the ocean to the East so forced myself on toward the coast.
What followed is a blur. I vaguely remember pushing a small canoe into the water, flopping exhausted into it and floating on a vast sea under a scorching sun.
Wild eyed villagers on the shore waving decapitated heads as I threw up over the side….
I haven’t had a minute’s peace since that fateful day. It was my fault you see. I bribed the young pilot. I coerced my friends into going to that God forsaken place and I left them to die.
Now I’m haunted by their faces every night and the screams……
Each night I press the gun to my temple with shaking hand. I don’t fire it. I’m a coward.
Only three of us could keep up the pace. I chanced a look backwards. Tony and Mike were a few yards behind but Brad, Wendy and Bill had barely made it half way up the slippery slope.
I almost turned back to help but another high pitched scream curdled the air and I pressed onward into the jungle. After what seemed like hours of forging through thick foliage, I ran out of speed and collapsed onto my knees.
Drenched in sweat, gasping for air I realised I was alone. I’d lost the others along the way. I could hear the ocean to the East so forced myself on toward the coast.
What followed is a blur. I vaguely remember pushing a small canoe into the water, flopping exhausted into it and floating on a vast sea under a scorching sun.
Wild eyed villagers on the shore waving decapitated heads as I threw up over the side….
I haven’t had a minute’s peace since that fateful day. It was my fault you see. I bribed the young pilot. I coerced my friends into going to that God forsaken place and I left them to die.
Now I’m haunted by their faces every night and the screams……
Each night I press the gun to my temple with shaking hand. I don’t fire it. I’m a coward.
Congratulations AV!
Good story, AV
If a crit-nit is OK… there is no such thing as a decapitated head.
Thank you S.A. Molteni 🙂
Thanks Yvonne! 🙂
Thank you Linton, I appreciate the advice. Could you give me an alternative for future reference please? I’d be very grateful for your input. 🙂
I think I get what he’s saying. A body can be decapitated (i.e., its head taken off). But you can’t really decapitate a head. 😉
I think severed head is how it’s usually phrased here in the states. No matter, Congrats, Audrey! 🙂
Congrats, A.V.!
Severed! I knew there was another word for it but I couldn’t think of it for the life of me! Thanks Lynne and Kat, I always appreciate criticism and anything that helps my vocabulary. 🙂 xx