The holiday season is upon us and I wanted to take this opportunity to wish all you little Indies a fabulous – er – holiday season. I meant to do that – to prove a point. One of the great things about being an Indie is that you can go back and edit things after you’ve published them. Being an Indie is akin to freedom – freedom to publish whatever you want, whenever you want, and then being able to correct it, or not.
I’ve been hearing rumors that some of your books aren’t selling. Or not selling much. That’s a risk you take, you know, when you don’t have a name like mine, Bob Hammond, to precede you and generate sales. “How do you do it, Bob?” you ask. That’s Mr. Hammond to you, kid. And I’ll tell you how I do it – in fact, I wrote this book as a Christmas gift specifically for you Indies. Yes, I know, it’s benevolent of me and all that. That’s how I roll. I’m Bob Hammond.
You can read my uplifting advice to Indies in my new book: Bob Hammond: All That and a Bag of Bob Hammond-Flavored Chips. That’s right. I’m delicious. And not only that, this book is chock full of inspirational quotes to help little Indies keep their chins up during these tough times. Watch out, Howie Hughes, I’m about to dethrone you as king of the Indies. And really, trying to capitalize on having the same name as that tycoon guy? Sheesh. That’s what pomme-de-terres are for. That was free advice. You’re welcome.
Like I was saying, I’ve got inspirational quotes just for you Indies, like:
- Don’t worry, you won’t be a starving author forever – eventually you’ll die.
- Once you’re dead, you have a shot at post-hummus fame. So, you have twice the chances to be famous!
- Just think, twenty years ago, you couldn’t have published that!
- Isn’t it great to be in control of your career?
So buck up, little Indie, and give yourself the gift of Bob Hammond this holiday season. What could be better? That was a trick question. Nothing could be better, of course. You’re welcome.