Category: Fake-Outs

The Genre Analyzing Generator

automated reciprocator
The stylish GAG, shown here in antique chrome

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Here at IULabs, we take pride in creating products designed to help indie authors. It’s all about making life easier and taking your money. And the Genre Analyzing Generator (or GAG) is yet another in a long line of inventions to assist authors in finding their niche and making money!

The great thing about the GAG is how easy it is to use – and how accurate it is! We know it can sometimes be a chore to decide under what genre to classify your magnum opus. Don’t sweat it! Just feed your manuscript into the GAG and it will search for phrases, keywords, and dialogue in order to find just the right genre for your book.

Here are two perfect examples for you:

We fed Twilight into the GAG and got:
Juvenile Fantasy
Urban Fantasy
New Age
Kissing Fiction

And for 50 Shades, we got:
Cult Literature
Romance
Autobiography
Parody

As you can see, the GAG was right on the money, both times! So don’t spend anymore time fretting over the best genre categorizations for your novel. Order your GAG today, and get a move on!

Use the GAG as directed. Other uses are not sanctioned by IULabs. Do not insert anything other than manuscripts into the GAG. Not meant to be used while driving or sleeping. Bodily injury, coma, or death may come as a result of improper use. Should a manuscript become lodged within the GAG for more than 4 hours, do not attempt to probe the GAG. Instead, dial the technical support number in your user’s manual. User’s manual sold separately.

The Writers Guide to Coolness

The Writers Guide to CoolnessHey, groovy chicks and dudes. Is your contemporary urban fiction falling flat with today’s readers? Is your dialogue riddled with terms like twenty-three skidoo, gadzooks, and cat’s meow? Are reviewers saying that your book is not, in fact, da bomb?

That’s totally bogus man. Don’t be lame when you can be epic. You need the 9-1-1 if you’re writing for the hip cats in today’s scene. Who better to teach you about cool than the guy who invented it?

Slot up over at Amazon and pick up your copy of The Writers Guide to Coolness today!

Trigger Warning Template

scaredLynne Cantwell wrote an excellent article on the relatively new trend of providing trigger warnings for books.

Of course, it is impossible to know what might offend or shock another person. This can make it difficult to write a trigger warning that would accomplish the desired objective. It is also important to authors that any trigger warnings avoid creating spoilers, ruining carefully-crafted and suspenseful passages in the book for readers who may not have such delicate sensibilities.

Obviously, someone needed to step up and provide a ready-to-use template for these trigger warnings. We’re here to help. We asked our crack legal team* to come up with a template that could be used to meet these complex criteria. You’re welcome. Continue reading “Trigger Warning Template”

Robot Sleep Mask

Robot Sleep MaskAdvertisement

Sure, we all love having robots, but how hard is it to sleep with those glowing red eyes glaring at you from the dark? What if the solution was as simple as slipping our patented Robot Sleep Mask over your robot’s head?

That takes care of the glaring eyes, but you also wonder whether your robot’s wireless interface is being hijacked by your enemies. What if they send your robot instructions to wake you up late and you miss an important meeting? What if they program the robot to strangle you while you sleep?

You can sleep safe and sound, knowing the Robot Sleep Mask is coated with Cybershield, a break-though coating that prevents your robot from receiving malicious outside instructions and spam.

Why go through the hassle of powering down your robot every night when the solution is as easy as just slipping on a one-size-fits-most ROBOT SLEEP MASK? Now available in a wide variety of colors, including Charcoal (shown), Ecrue, Spring Mint, Autumn Russett, Quicksilver, Sunset Peach, Vivid Vermillion, and Brown.