Tag: snark

2013 in Preview

2012 is over and thank goodness—not exactly a prosperous year for many of us. For Christmas this year, I gave the grand-kids a couple of plastic scoops and told them the cat’s litter box was a buried treasure game. Not only were they disappointed, but it looks like I wasted a lot of time making the cat swallow all those nickels. Sigh.

But now it is time to look forward to the new year with my proprietary blend of hopeful optimism and innate revulsion at change. I have fired up the old crystal ball. Remember, I’m 90% right 50% of the time. Here is my list of predictions for the coming year: Continue reading “2013 in Preview”

A Word From Ajax Thermal Ports

[Indies Unlimited is brought to you in part by the fine folks at Ajax Thermal Ports]

After the catastrophic design failures associated with the Death Star debacle, thermal ports got a bad reputation, and deservedly so.

Ajax has put together the best engineers in the galaxy to solve these problems and is pleased to introduce our 204-A “petite” line of thermal ports. Though just as efficient at venting plasma gas, the new 204-A is smaller and nearly impossible to hit with proton torpedoes.

Even in the unlikely event of a superficial penetration, we have taken the additional precaution of adding a P trap, to assure projectiles have no straight line to the reactor.

We are sure you’ll be satisfied with our new thermal ports and will join the many who are glad to proclaim, “It’s finally safe to build death stars again!”

Some Assembly Required

Once while I was Christmas shopping,
And from store to store was hopping,
Buying quaint and curious gadgets, gizmos and gifts galore,
My list was near completed,
I was not yet quite defeated,
Lest the children should feel cheated,
And left wanting one thing more. Continue reading “Some Assembly Required”

Formula for an Action-Adventure Bestseller

Special Agent Kathrin Night
Every action-adventure blockbuster needs babes, guns and explosions. Special Agent Kathrin Night drawn by Artist Bernie Shuman.

Yeah, yeah, I know: I shouldn’t be sharing this for free. So, what do I ask in return? Remember me when you’re at the opening night of your blockbuster film. And…you can always make a donation using the PayPal button on this page. You can’t really put a price on the advice I’m about to give you, but give it a shot. More zeros after the number in front and before the decimal point is a good start.

I know how it goes – you’re sitting there staring at your screen trying to figure out how to make that action-adventure work-in-progress into a grabbing, mind-blowing, future bestseller. Look, I’ve been doing this a long time, and I’ve seen all the Rambo movies – so I know a thing or two. And I am now going to help you by taking the guess work out of this whole shebang for you. Follow my advice below, and you’ll be Hollywood-bound, my friend! Continue reading “Formula for an Action-Adventure Bestseller”