It’s so not fair. I can hear the other minions down in the death star’s lounge, setting up for our annual New Year’s Eve celebration, while I’m stuck up here in the writer’s garret, coming up with my list of resolutions for 2016. (Yes, we have a writer’s garret. Cathy Speight calls it the naughty step. I’d ask her why, but I’m not sure I want to know the answer.)
We have minions, and minion alumni, all over the world, so the IU festivities go ‘round the clock on New Year’s Eve. Melissa Pearl is in China [New Zealand?], so she kicks things off. Then TD McKinnon and A.C. Flory take over – TD always brings us a nip of something Scottish, even though he lives in Tasmania. Then it’s the Europeans’ turn, and…
This isn’t getting my list written, is it?
Fine. Here I go, writing my indie author resolutions for 2016. I’ll aim for ten. Let’s see how many I can come up with.
- I resolve to stop having conversations out loud with my characters. At least, not on the street. Or next to the police station.
- I resolve to write more. Practice makes perfect, as they say, and I really do need to plop my butt in the chair and write a little fiction every day. And no, Facebook posts don’t count.
- I resolve to root out the bad habits that keep me from accomplishing #2 (*cough*Facebook*cough*) and do my best to minimize them, so that I have more time to write.
- I resolve to stop being the grammar police. Especially since three-quarters of the time, that grammar or punctuation rule I’m so certain of winds up being a matter of style. I hate it when that happens.
- I resolve to procure a virtual whip and chair. The next time one of my characters tries to run off with the story, boy oh boy, will they be in for a surprise!
- I resolve to be more honest with myself. Just because I’m on Facebook, it doesn’t mean I can count the time as social media marketing.
- I resolve to keep a better eye on the clock when I’m in the writing zone, so that I don’t stay up until 2:00 a.m. writing when I know the alarm is going to go off at 7:00 a.m.
- I resolve to look at everyday things for inspiration when I get stuck. Just about anything can get me another thousand words – from a Klimt reproduction to a farting car.
- I resolve to read more fiction, so I can find techniques that work for other writers and steal them. And finally:
- I resolve to…say, is that mince pie I smell? Carolyn Steele must be here! And it sounds like Shawn Inmon has started up the jukebox. Oh, heck – nine resolutions are plenty. I’ll think of another one later, I swear it. No, better yet – I resolve to think of another resolution later. Hey, look! I’ve got ten resolutions! Let’s get the party started!
Best wishes to all of you for a great 2016!
37 thoughts on “New Year’s Resolutions for Indie Authors”
I think that’s the Evil Mastermind’s New Year’s Hobo Stew you smell. 😉 Happy New Year, Lynne!
Nice try. I know the difference between mince pie and the EM’s stew. 😉
How do you know that isn’t Minced Hobo Pie? 😉
I did wonder about the funky aftertaste…
Hey, who ate the last mince pie? Al, I see those crumbs on your chin.
The *whole* pie? That’s it. Next year, I’m only going to be responsible for FIVE resolutions.
Allow me to present my latest festive fusion food: maple walnut shortbread! Happy New Year Lynne, and everybody.
Mmmmm. 🙂 Thanks, Carolyn!
No, no! I’m a shortbread purist! Butter, sugar, flour, done!
We have ways of converting you. Adding nuts makes it healthy, virtually salad!
What a great collection, lol!
Esp loved # 1, gonna have to remember to stay indoor at those times 🙂
Super fan of # 4 – “I resolve to stop being the grammar police. Especially since three-quarters of the time, that grammar or punctuation rule I’m so certain of winds up being a matter of style. I hate it when that happens.” – though I’ll need to amend the first line to “I resolve to stop fighting back the grammar police since I already ignore them.” 🙂
And then there’s # 11 – and here I was thinking I was learning, adapting, and improving upon, when it was simple “lifting” all the time, lol!
Happy new years Lynne (and everyone else) 🙂
Thanks, Felipe! 😀
Un sano e felice anno nuovo a tutti voi !
And many more, too!
Grazie, Luigi! 🙂
I am much too sane and sensible to need resolution #1. I only have conversations with my characters while in the privacy of my own house, and my wife has been putting up with my various idiocyncracies for years.
I didn’t say I needed the resolution, exactly. All I said was that I resolved not to do it in 2016. 😉 Happy New Year, Gordon!
Hobo stew? Um… I knew there was a minion or two I haven’t seen lately. (Happy New Year, Lynne!)
Happy New Year and good luck with all those to you and everyone who wants to steal them (I should definitely help myself to a few).
Feel free, Sandra. 😀
I love it when Shawn starts dumping money in the jukebox. 🙂
*runs and hides from Yvonne*
You bring that maple walnut shortbread back here, mister!
I resolve to continue having conversations with my characters in the car. I will no longer let them drive, however.
That always gets some looks. lol
Just don’t drive by the police station when you’re deep into one of those conversations. Trust me on that…
Let me know if the whip and chair thing works on your characters. Sounds like that could be a story in itself. 🙂
Happy New Year Lynne. Good luck with all of your resolutions.
-giggles- That’s cheating, but as #2 is so good I’ll let you get away with it.
It’s already January 1st here in the Antipodes so I’ll just wish all the minions a safe, happy and CREATIVE 2016.
We’re writers so let’s write!
These are great, Lynne! Happy New Year to you and everyone. 🙂
I didn’t cook anything, but I’ll make sure we have plenty of champaign!
I’m with you on the resolutions, especially being more honest with yourself. I think having realistic views on your time and what you can do with it, are crucial.
I resolve to quit taking odd jobs just because I’m retired and don’t have a “real” job. Writing first in 2016!
Well done! Amidst the appreciated levity, there’s some nonperishable food for thought. Have a fab First and sensational ’16!
Happy New Year, Lynne. ???
I go on Facebook now for the same reason I used to watch MTV or Jerry Springer: just to recharge my soul with laughter at people who are too stupid to realize they have no shame. I’ve never conversed aloud with any of my characters. Wait – yes, I have! In retrospect, they’ve been some of the best conversations I’ve ever had. My only resolution for this year (which is one I constantly recycle) is to stop rehashing situations and predicaments from my past; whether at work, in a nightclub or on the road. I have the habit of reliving them to try to make them better. Obviously, it’s a losing battle. Therefore, I will now only recount those incidents for the sake of fitting them into a story. Sometimes I live vicariously through my characters anyway. So this should make for better writing.
Happy New Year to the Indies Unlimited staff! Thanks for everything you folks have done and please keep up the good work.
Keep writing and keep fighting!
Happy New Year, Lynne! I’m printing out your list of resolutions as I type this. I’ll be adopting them as my own. 🙂
I’m lost at # 1: When I have a conversation with my characters, I actually have three conversations – What I plan to say, What I actually say, and What I wish I had said. Then, of course, later, I end with What I should have said. Doesn’t that make four conversations? Not only can I not just have a conversation (argument?) with my characters, I can’t count either.
Good try, Lynne,and good luck with that list… Still, it’s the thought that counts. By the way, sorry I’m late to the party… I got waylaid on the way here. You know what it’s like… stop for one drink and… yada yada yada
Happy New Year everyone.
Comments are closed.