Tag: humor

Natural Selection

[Indies Unlimited is brought to you in part by the fine people at Natural Selection, a solutions-oriented company.]

Summer vacation season is under way and soon the mountain country will be filled with city folk looking for an opportunity to connect with nature.

In the old days, things sorted themselves out. The city-dwellers would come out in their Bermuda shorts with backpacks full of Zagnuts wanting to pet the bears. It generally made for a short season and happy bears.

Then the park service started in with their “don’t feed the bears” campaign. Now we have four months of karaoke music and tofu weenies.

Real outdoorsmen know that tourist season is time for Natural Selection. Make sure your local souvenir shop is well-stocked with our “Bear Repellant.” Three new scents are available: Bacon, Salmon, and Chocolate.

Natural Selection: short season, happy bears, peace and quiet.

End of Book Depression Solved!

This past Friday, our Lynne Cantwell wrote a post about the Importance of Being Earnest or the Unbearable Lightness of Being Done or something like that, after writing an entire series of five books in one year. Show off. But now she’s feeling that post-partum depression. Well I could have told you that would happen.

There are many cures for this kind of thing, and I’m going to share them with you. Call your shrink and cancel that appointment. I’m saving you like 90 bucks by giving you this advice for free. You must be feeling a tad guilty over that – am I right? See? I know you just as well as your therapist, but without the inconvenient office visits. In any case, here are the top ten keys to preventing and avoiding end of book depression. Continue reading “End of Book Depression Solved!”

Book Description Epic Fail

One of the neat things about Indies Unlimited is that we get to become acquainted with the books of a whole lot of authors.

Not all those books make it onto the site. Sometimes this is because the subject matter is outside our wheelhouse. Other times, it is related to problems with the book. K.S. Brooks wrote a piece that covers a lot of the mistakes we see.

I don’t want to rehash her entire article, but I do want to focus on book descriptions. When I vet books, this is about as far as I ever have to go. Occasionally, I will read the preview of a book only because I can’t believe the book itself could possibly be as bad as the description. In many instances, the book is WAY better than the book description.

That’s too bad, because you really can’t expect a prospective buyer to take that extra step. Writing book descriptions is hard for authors. Kat wrote an article on how to write a book description. That article is chock full of good advice. Read it. Learn it. Live it.

I tend to organize information into categories. Here are a few of the error categories I have found in looking at book descriptions: Continue reading “Book Description Epic Fail”

The Automated Reciprocator

How many times a day do people ask you for advice on how to write or publish or market a book? It can get frustrating and become a time-suck. Can you imagine if you were a doctor, a lawyer, an accountant, or a mechanic? You’d never be giving your time away for free, would you?

Well, here at the Indies Unlimited Laboratories, we’ve come up with the perfect invention for you: the amazing Automated Reciprocator!

This machine is so brilliant, so intuitive, and so easy to use, you’ll wish we invented it years ago – but only after you got published, right?

The directions for use are simple. Before you put it into service, however, you need to make a list of the things you need, or the things you’re willing to barter for. The Automated Reciprocator can’t help you get your due until you perform this initial step. Not sure what you need/want? Here’s a list of most commonly requested items: Continue reading “The Automated Reciprocator”