Introducing the Random Inscription Generator

I’ve mentioned before that I’ve never held a book signing. It is not the sort of thing I’d likely do anyway. First off, I have the penmanship of a toy poodle with a seizure disorder. My handwriting could easily be mistaken for some script in a dead and ancient language, shorthand taken by someone who was drowsing off at the moment, or that of a physician.

More importantly, I think it would be difficult to think of what to inscribe. Just putting your name seems kind of pointless. Otherwise, you could just sit there with a signature stamp. I am told that an interesting and personalized inscription can add value to the book. Most people are going to want something in there they can show off.

Let’s face it though—you may not know the people who want you to inscribe their copy of your book. What can you possibly jot down that would be relevant or even mildly interesting? If you have multiple people lined up for inscriptions, you wouldn’t want to just write the same thing in everybody’s book, would you?

I believe this is an area where authors could use a little help. I’m the kind of person who sees a need and tries to fill it. I am pleased to announce that my new invention, the Random Inscription Generator (RIG) is now in early testing. Why waste your own brain-power trying to think up something interesting to write in a book when technology can do it for you? Just enter the person’s name and sex in the device, and the RIG will generate an inscription for you to put in the book in your own, unique scrawl.

Here are a few examples just to whet your appetite:

“Juanita, when you bent over the table to get your book signed, I could see down your blouse a little bit. I recommend you have a physician look at that mole. Enjoy the book! Bob Summers.”

“Jim, thanks for coming out today. For future reference, I believe they sell breath mints at several locations here in the mall. I hope you enjoy the book! Bob Summers.”

“Debbie,it was good to see you having such a nice time with your pool boy. My best to your husband. Bob Summers.”

“Joey, Just thought you might want to know your fly is unzipped. Enjoy the book. Bob Summers.”

The RIG will generate thousands of inscriptions for you to use, adding a unique flair to your books and livening up your book signings.  Of course, the RIG is still in early development and I’m still concentrating most of my energy on developing my laser death-ray. Nevertheless, you can take heart in knowing that help is on the way.

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Stephen Hise is the Founder and Co-Administrator of Indies Unlimited and author of the novel, UPGRADE. For more information, please see the IU Bio page and his website:


Author: Stephen Hise

Stephen Hise is the Evil Mastermind and founder of Indies Unlimited. Hise is an independent author and an avid supporter of the indie author movement. Learn more about Stephen at his website or his Amazon author page.

23 thoughts on “Introducing the Random Inscription Generator”

  1. Oh, my! I'll have to thank Stephen for starting my Sunday morning with a great laugh…when I stop laughing! Tried to come up with a good inscription to leave you with but cannot for the life of me get my brain into gear through the laughter.

    1. All good but I am very partial to M. Edward's wallet suggestion. It's funny without being embarrassing for anyone. love you all at IU! Stephanie

  2. I did this inscription for real (I knew the guy from the context of the novel):

    Henri, you're the only one libeled in this book. See page 237.

  3. LMAO! My "stock" phrase used to be: Great meeting you at the winery, I hope you enjoy the book." No winery anymore–pout! Looking for another one…

    Good, funny article!

  4. I think I have one for you:
    To Steve, and no, my book isn't out in
    Cliff Notes…yet. You'll have to actually
    read it. Lots of Luck,
    Put name of not-so-famous author here

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