There Can Be Only One

Bob Hammond There Can be Only OneThere, there. I know, I know, you want to be me, but you can’t. I bet that makes life a chore. But you’re a good sport about it, aren’t you? Of course you are. Unlike some who cannot handle not being me, you haven’t made any threatening phone calls. Good on you.

Bob Hammond here. I know, no introduction is necessary in that my reputation as a best selling author and rival to “The Most Interesting Man in the World” precede me, but I wanted to make sure I had your attention.

There’s been a bit of controversy as of late over my bestsellerdom. It seems that some jealous, obviously less successful, authors have contacted booksellers trying to undermine my bestseller status. They’ve been trying to dig up dirt, report sock puppet reviews, and have my unique and innovative book categories revoked. All because they can’t be like me – they feel the need to reduce me to their level. Well, I hate to tell them – but there can be only one Bob Hammond. I talk about this at length in my new book There Can Be Only One.

I keep hearing this phrase “sock puppetry.” Frankly, I find that revolting, and a good way to get athlete’s foot on one’s hands. Perhaps only poor folk use that type of entertainment. Not Bob Hammond.

And since I *am* Bob Hammond, there is nothing wrong with my books being categorized the way they are on Amazon. I don’t need to resort to any kind of trickery to be at the top of the bestsellers lists.rankings bob hammond

Just remember, while you’re sorry you can’t be me, I’m not. There can, in fact, be only one Bob Hammond, and we all know who that is.

Is Amazon Buying Simon and Schuster?

dealHere is something I don’t think many people saw coming. The internet is abuzz with rumors that Amazon is in negotiations to buy big ink publisher Simon and Schuster. The internet is always abuzz with something, and I don’t know whether this is real or not. It may be a stratagem aimed at scaring Hachette off the fence in its negotiations with Amazon. But Passive Guy is also reporting it, so maybe there is something there after all.

Kozlowski (link above) reports:

The publishing industry could be turned onto its head with a recent revelation that Amazon is in talks to purchase big 5 publisher Simon and Schuster. If the deal were to get done, this would give Amazon major distribution to physical bookstores under their own imprint and change the publishing world forever.

Notwithstanding that everything that happens seems to threaten to change the publishing world forever, this does conjure up some pretty dramatic images.

As always, Amazon is not talking. My favorite part of any article about Amazon is always at the end of the article: A spokesperson for Amazon refused to comment. Seriously? I think maybe Amazon is using the title “spokesperson” incorrectly. It would make more sense if they changed the person’s title to stonewaller. A stonewaller for Amazon refused to comment. There. That makes sense.

Anyway, if Amazon really did buy its own big fat pet publisher, that could represent some major upheaval. Will the Bezoids still love indies if they have their own big brand to push? What about Apple? Will Apple respond in kind, scooping up Hachette? Will Random Penguin scramble to buy Barnes & Noble to squeeze its competitors out of the brick and mortar markets? Will Yahoo respond by buying up DC Comics?

Fun times. What are your predictions?

Smashwords Preorders

SWpreordersIt’s been about a year since Smashwords began beta-testing its preorder feature, and it’s been live for everyone for six months, give or take. Mark Coker was excited enough about rolling out the feature to everyone that he even put together a PowerPoint presentation on leveraging it to your best advantage for your new release.

When I saw that PowerPoint, I got all fired up about using it for the release of Undertow in March. So I did a whole bunch of stuff suggested in the presentation: I uploaded the book file a couple of weeks early, set the introductory price low (99 cents), mentioned the availability of preorders prominently on my blog and Facebook page, stuck the info in a newsletter, and sat back and waited to hit the big-time on release day. Continue reading “Smashwords Preorders”