The very prestigious Pompous Ass Publishing has issued a statement indicating it will now accept a limited number of manuscripts for formal rejection.
“We normally don’t respond at all to submissions of any kind,” said a spokesman for the Editor-in-Chief, Langley Whitcomb Von Throppington IV. “Still, we feel this is an important step in appearing to reach out to the public.”
In order to be eligible for a rejection letter, the query must come from the agent of an author whose work is critically acclaimed and who has a significant back-catalog of award-winning best-selling titles to his or her credit. Pompous Ass Publishing is best known as the imprint that has rejected the best-selling and most revered authors of all time.
Indie authors sweat bullets over getting reviews and worrying about bad reviews. It turns out we’ve been going about this all wrong.
You are an indie author enjoying typical indie success. You spent a few bucks having your book professionally edited, sprang for a professionally designed eye-catching cover, and you took the precaution of paying to have the book professionally formatted for multiple platforms. It’s been available from the biggest bookseller in the whole world for over a year now and you have raked in $9.72. That leaves you a little over $400 in the hole. At least a few thousand people downloaded it when it was free, right? You got two reviews out of that.
If you have just published your first novel, congratulations to you. For now, you can bask in the warm afterglow of having accomplished something you may have always wanted to do. Enjoy. You should probably stop reading this now.