Not, not the comic book hero or the nervous twitch kind of tic – I’m talking about those gross, disgusting, horrendous little bugs that should be eradicated from this planet. The pictures of swollen ticks were just way too disturbing to post here, so I went with the 20th anniversary edition of the comic book. It is, in fact more attractive than a swollen tick. Google it if you don’t believe me.
What in the world could anyone get wrong about ticks? Why don’t you ask the producers of a TV show that will remain nameless that’s supposed to be set in The Hamptons in Long Island, New York and stars a handsome young man as a concierge doctor? The network it’s on is three letters and the initials of the show are R.P. Now, I know you’re wondering “Kat, what in the world were you doing watching a dumbed-down version of the medical drama House?” It wasn’t my fault. I saw the Saab convertible and I couldn’t move away. Continue reading “Getting It Right: Ticks”
It’s an old saw for new authors: Write what you know. The advice explains why so many memoirs and how-to books are being published these days, but it’s small comfort for the beginning novelist whose life experiences don’t include travel to exotic locations, knowledge of police procedures, or service in the CIA.
Like many aspiring authors, I tried writing a novel—in my case, a political thriller—without a clue about the subject. About halfway through, my ignorance caught up with me. I never finished it. I had always heard the mantra, “Write what you know,” but I couldn’t imagine how what I knew would interest anybody. One day, when I was looking out my home office window, I thought, “What if my main character works at home? And what if he’s a do-it-yourselfer? And what if he likes to help his neighbors with their home projects and that gets him into trouble somehow?” I could write a story about that. Continue reading “Five Tips for Using What You Know to Write Fiction”
My oh my. I’ve been banging my head against the wall quite a lot lately. I’ve found so many book descriptions on Amazon.com that are not doing justice to the authors’ books. Twenty words or less? More about the motivation to write it than about the story? Nothing more than a few reviews? An entire paragraph telling me how awesome the author is at flossing his/her teeth? Listen, there’s a right place for everything. And the right place for the book description…is the book description. Potential customers want to know what the book is ABOUT, otherwise, how will they be able to tell if they want to read it? (If you need help writing your book’s description, try this tutorial here.)
For authors who self-published their book, they can go into Createspace or Kindle and easily change the book’s description. But, once the print and Kindle versions are merged, this may not reflect the description they’d prefer. Also, if you aren’t the publisher of your book, and your requested changes have not been made, there is an alternative for you: your Amazon Author Central Page. Continue reading “Amazon.com Book Descriptions”
[This is a satirical article. If you want instruction on how to write a romance novel from someone who actually knows what they’re talking about, try this article. – The Administrators.]
In my last installment, I shared with you the formula for writing a blockbuster action/adventure bestseller. I really can’t believe you missed it, but in case you did, you can read it here. In this installment, I’m going to give you the top secret formula for writing the romance novel that people just can’t resist. That includes the people in Hollywood. They’re going to be banging down your door to get their hands on this one, so watch out. I hope you’re prepared for all that fame and fortune, because it’s coming!
What makes me think I can tell you how to do this? Well, sure, I haven’t actually written a romance novel, but there is romance in my novels. Also, they filmed Failure to Launch and The Wedding Crashers right near where I lived. Not good enough? I’ve won awards, for crying out loud. Whether they have anything to do with writing doesn’t matter, really. They’re awards. Be impressed and shut up.
Now let’s get to it. Follow my advice below, and you’ll be Hollywood-bound, my friend!