6:58 AM. Wake up and try to remember the tail of that dream which may have held the key to resolving that scene in chapter 14 of the WIP. Fail to do so.
7:05 AM. Turn on computer on way to kitchen to start coffee.
7:07-7:29 AM. Check sales, use bathroom, check sales.
7:30 AM. Sit down at computer with coffee, intending to get to work.
7:31 AM. Get on facebook.
10:20 AM . Make more coffee.
10:30 AM. Get off facebook. Check sales.
10:33 AM. Discover coffee maker is dead. Flick on/off switch, jiggle power cord. Nothing.
10:40 AM. Check sales. Get dressed. Check sales. Drive to Target.
10:51 AM. Space-off at red light thinking about a character’s childhood until the guy in the Escalade behind you honks.
10:58 AM. Discover Black & Decker makes cheap coffee makers. Figure what the hell, their drills work.
11:23 AM. Assemble new B&D coffee maker, spill ground coffee trying to dump it from the dead machine to the new one. Start coffee, sweep kitchen, check sales.
11:25 AM. Check e-mail.
11:40 AM. Fresh coffee. Yum.
11:50 AM. Twitter.
11:58 AM. Check sales.
11:59 AM. Check Goodreads. Find new review posted. Read carefully three times, dissecting words and looking for subtext. Go to the reviewer’s account and see how they’ve reviewed everything else they’ve ever reviewed.
12:25 PM. Hear stomach rumble and realize you haven’t eaten today.
12:30 PM. Lunch, TV on. Accidentally watch Sports Center for an hour.
1:32-1:45 PM. Check sales. Check e-mail. Twitter notification. Twitter. Blog link. Read blog. Remember you’ve done nothing on your own blog in a week.
1:46 PM. Check for weird search engine hits on your blog and spend ten minutes trying to figure out why “Werewolves vs. Strippers” led somebody there. Fail to do so.
2:00 PM. Check sales. Check sales on Amazon Italy for no possible reason.
2:03 PM. Open word processor. Read over the last page from the last time you wrote. Edit last page you wrote for half an hour.
2:33 PM. Figure that’s enough coffee for one day and switch to something else. Check sales.
2:34 PM. Swing by facebook, just for a peek.
4:02 PM. Notice time, get off facebook. How the hell did that happen?
4:03 PM. Open word processor, again.
4:04-4:12 PM. Write
4:12 PM. Answer phone. A buddy wants to get some dinner at a bar and watch the game, but you’re working.
4:14 PM. Check a news channel just to make sure the world isn’t ending. Accidentally find “Cool Hand Luke” playing on a classic movie station with no commercials, and it’s only 14 minutes in.
4:15-6:00 PM. Watch “Cool Hand Luke” and wonder what would actually happen if somebody ate fifty eggs.
6:01-7:50 PM. Make and eat dinner while watching the game. Check sales at halftime.
8:00-9:00 PM. Watch that show you don’t like, but it was a cliffhanger last week, so you have to find out out what happens.
9:02 PM. Do not check sales! Open word processor again. Stare.
9:09 PM. Check sales.
9:12 PM. Facebook. A writer “friend” of yours is drunk as a skunk and posting gibberish, it’s awesome.
10:20 PM. Turn on local news to catch weather.
10:30-11:00 PM. Simpson rerun you’ve seen four times, but it’s a good one.
11:02 PM. Check sales.
11:05 PM. Shut off computer.
11:07 PM. Clean coffee maker.
11:12 PM. Go to bed.
11:59 PM. Have that dream about chapter 14, again.
———————–
As always in closing, an excerpt from an actual review of a real book, by a real reader, who may have missed the point.
“I love superheroes, but this is too wordy, the experience is too much like “reading,” which makes me wonder why there are any drawings at all.”
(from a one-star review of Watchmen by Alan Moore.)
————————
M. Edward McNally is the author of the Norothian Cycle books: The Sable City, Death of a Kingdom, and The Wind from Miilark, and multiple free short story volumes titled Eddie’s Shorts. He has been writing for twenty of the last thirty years and does not recommend the ten year spell of writer’s block in the middle. Ed is a contributor at Indies Unlimited (IU Bio Page) and tilts at his own windmills over at http://sablecity.wordpress.com/
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Wow – what a life!
I want one like that.
Careful what you wish for, Rosanne. 😉
I feel SO much better about myself! Although now I question my professionalism; I don't have a facebook account.
FB's definitely one of those "double-edged swords," Mandi. Good place to hang with other writers, but sometimes *too* good. 😉
Oh this made me laugh SO hard. I love your casual Fridays, Ed!
Thanks, but shouldn't you be writing right now, Donna? 😉
Sorry about the gibberish. Thanks for not revealing my name.
Your secret is safe with me, Peej. (hiccup)
Holy Sh#t! You've been peeking in my windows again, haven't you?
Hmm…something else to do while not writing. Spy on neighbors. 😉
But you forgot the part about playing Spider Solitaire.
Damn, I miss playing Spider Solitaire, Donna! *sigh*!
Ed, you have a wonderful way of making a rainy yucky day a little brighter. Thank you.
What is this "rain" of which you speak? (Phoenix, AZ)
I was laughing out loud with this one. You know the kind of laugh … uh oh, he know's … total guilt, you nailed it. Got to go check my sales, later.
You never know when that Spanish sale is going to come through. 😉
Laughed at this. Other than the extra testosterone it pretty much sums up most of my days – though i avoid checking sales too often – too depressing.
Lol, don't check sales.
My suggestions:
Pretend you're friendless and a hermit without electricity. Do not check funny banter on FB. Especially anything Dan writes. 🙂
I am the ghost in the machine.
The Police. Sorry, I'm in a musical mood. 😉
This is hysterical…if I didn't have a day job, I'm convinced my days would play out EXACTLY like this. Well, except for the sports thing…
Thanks for the laugh
Soap operas, sit coms, or talk shows may be substituted. 😉
Dude. This explains the nanny-cam I found in my stuffed penguin's belly. Want it back, or should I just recycle it? 😉
That depends, is there any good footage? 😉
Ed…you just need a serious addiction.
Been there, Danny Boy. The typical Irish one. ;-
Sadly, this is also a blogger's day. Except instead of checking sales, we check our Amazon reviewer rankings, our Google Analytics stats, and our Alexa rank. Aside from that, it's pretty much spot on.
Lol!!! I check sales only once a day – there must be something wrong with me!!!! And yep, that Facebook thing can sap your life if you're not looking… 🙂
Maybe if I could have a whole day devoted to writing, I could waste even MORE time on facebook and I might check my sales more than once a day…instead, I sleep and work and then procrastinate writing 2k words in the small margin of error between consciousness and un. Thus, the dark circles under my eyes.
Oh, and it is fun being on the receiving end of the drunk facebook friend 😉
Shhhhhhhh. 😉
Whispers, "I'll put on the coffee now."
Mmmm…coffee…