I will never understand people who write for a living but don’t like it. And there are such people. It’s not like we’re rich. Hell, that would be like me deciding my calling was cleaning out portajohns. Writing is hard, it takes a long time, and you rarely get the adulation or money you deserve.
I was talking to one of these people recently. I asked him how he came to be bat-shit crazy. He mumbled something about a “son of a bitchin’ press release” and haroomphed a big loogey. That was my cue to leave.
I write lots of things. I write dark, little short stories. I write intense novels. I write songs. I write articles about fishing with my daughter. I write press releases and articles about things I know very little about (cha-CHING).
I write from the moment I have crawled out of bed until my eyes are bleeding, I want to punch something, or my daughter says, “Dadda, will you stop working now and play with me?”
I write when I feel great. I write when I feel crappy. No way in hell would I do it if I didn’t like it. I’d be a fireman or something.
Some people write for fame. Haha. That’s almost as funny as writing for money. I bet you couldn’t pick ten bestselling, millionaire authors out of a crowd.
I don’t make a lot of money, but I’ve met a lot of cool people. People who are genuinely interested in me or my writing. Some of them are creepy (Hise). Most of them are super cool.
I’m friends with a guy who is famous for videos he made riding his motorcycle in Panama. He is legit. In a circle of riders, he is almost a king. He is charismatic and funny and talented. Halfthrottle (Ryan Grassley). Check him out.
But the reason I mention all this is that we were talking about writing. Money is relevant. So is fame. I have a little fame. He has a little more. And it is kind of scary. I get weird emails that make me never want to go on the Internet again. We were talking about this pseudo-fame, and we both agreed that being ‘really’ famous would be an absolute nightmare.
‘Author famous’ is where it’s at. I have authors I have read and loved – no idea what they look like. I used Bird by Bird in my writing workshops. Anne Lamott’s masterful book on writing. Side note: READ THIS IF YOU HAVEN’T.
So, anyway, I was getting burgers with the family one time and I saw her…actually my wife recognized her. I don’t EVER do the ‘hey, you’re so and so’ thing, but I liked her work so much, and I thought she might like to know I used it to teach, etc. It was, quite possibly, the most awkward conversation of my life.
Writers shouldn’t be FAMOUS famous because we can’t talk. That’s why we write. I probably sent Lamott on a horrible bender.
So, write if you like writing. Don’t do it for fame or money. Do it because it feels right to write. And if you recognize me in public someday, don’t be surprised if I create a diversion and run away in a panic to the nearest liquor store.
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JD Mader is a Contributing Author for Indies Unlimited and author of the novels JOE CAFÉ and THE BIKER – and co-author of the mighty Bad Book. For more information, please see the IU Bio page and his blog: www.jdmader.com (and musical nonsense here: JD Mader). Mader’s edgier works can be found at www.blergpop.com.
Another very nice post, brother. Love the way you can just hit the nail right on the head. Thanks.
Thanks brother. Went to the taco truck and forgot all about this. Checked my email and saw the title and was like, "I didn't write anything called that". That may be a bad sign. 😉
Forgot that you wrote this!?! You're not going all Tyler Durden/Fight Club on us are you?
Very well could be.
Or I write a LOT!
The difference is, the first rule of writing is… we can't talk about anything else but writing.
If we meet in person one day then we'll ditch the liquor store and head straight to the nearest bar, on our bikes of course. Perhaps we'll even find our way to a quiet fishing hole. You bring the Powerbait, I'll bring beer.
Oh, let's go fishing now! Screw it! We can eat what we catch! RUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL! "Writers shouldn’t be FAMOUS famous because we can’t talk. That’s why we write." – SO TRUE! I do a lot of public speaking, but I really shouldn't. I'm much happier being in a dark, quiet room talking to myself…
Me too!
Nice! I've been lucky enough to meet a few of my favorite authors. And, yeah. Uncomfortable. Like they'd rather be home writing, too.
Now I remember what this post was about (haven't looked up yet). Yup, for sure. I do small talk about as well as a dog can play the accordion (go ahead, youtube up an accordion playing dog). 😉
It's much easier to communicate when you can do a rewrite. In person, you don't get that chance. 🙂
I find a 'delete' button would come in handy in real life, too.
That Lamott book is my favorite of the "writery" books out there, too.
For sure. She killed it with that one. I've read it a zillion times. I put King's book second.
Everyone's telling me to read that damn book. And yes, I do mean everyone.
Gee, I'm just a wee bit disappointed. Thought for sure my name would be in parentheses behind 'SUPER COOL'. Oh, well. Maybe next time!
LOL. Sorry. Next time. 😉
You leave after only one big loogey? Geez, one little green pulmonary oyster and you bail? It would see there are pages of material waiting to be Harumphed up. Sputum is a miracle of the bodies ability to defend itself. Okay, maybe I'd be out of there too. There is such a thing as tuberculosis after all. A writer can only be expected to expose themselves to so much "life." Gram negative bacilli, red snappers and pure yuck included. Great post.
LOL. Thanks Ed.
You bring out the best in people.
And you're famous with celebrity friends. Are you sure you're still indie?
Sputum indeed.
I like motorcycles. I once crashed my brother's mini-bike into the shed.
Sorry, Diddy's getting into the fridge again, "Dude, we pop the crys TONIGHT". Sorry, that guy is like a child. What was the question?
I hear you JD, I hear you. If I ever see you in person I'll approach very slowly, not stare directly at you and won't make any sudden movements. :)) Another great post!
Nah, you just run up and give me a big hug. 😉
Only you, no one else.
For years, I've had a Samuel Johnson quote hanging on the fridge: "No man but a blockhead ever wrote, except for money." Irony!
Great post, JD.
Great, now I'm gonna have to throw down with SJ. 😉
Thanks for the shout out JD. I'm ready to become a little less famous. Think I'll go hide in a hole for a while.
Word. You want the keys to my bunker?
If you see me walking down the street make sure you yell out 'Hey there's that brilliantly funny author, you know her people…she's hilarious!' I'll look suitably embarrassed and have that 'Who little ol' me' look on my face and then I'll sign legions of autographs and make witty comments. Fame bring it on…No, on second thoughts don't do that. I'll only go red and stammer badly and say something really inappropriate. I made a right pig's ear out of my last radio interview. You are absolutely right. I'm also best left at home behind my desk doing what I enjoy most – writing.
I can NEVER think of anything to say when asked for an inscription. It's humiliating, really.
I thought inscriptions were just the author's signature…now you say that you have to think of something to write in addition? Sounds like signing a high school annual. I'd be tempted to write: "Great being in your class this year. Hope to see you over the summer." I guess I better think on that before I ever have something published. Yikes.
LOL. I do that. “2 good 2 be 4gotten. Chemistry class was a blast. Have a good summer!”