Yeah, that’s right. I’m an author. That means I’m cerebral. I work out with my brain, not my body, which means that my Nordic Track machine is used to hang laundry. It works quite nicely in that capacity.
Our Laurie Boris tried to get us to start some good habits like stretching and some strange, new-fangled ergonomic stuff. All that’s fine and dandy, but I can’t really see someone like me actually making the effort to do any of it. So, in the true spirit of entrepreneurial opportunism, I’ve developed an exercise program tailored specifically for authors (and anyone who spends extended hours at a computer). Because what good is a program you won’t actually use?
That’s right, I’ve taken activities in which you participate every day and turned them into exercises! How can you go wrong? Well, duh, you can’t.
Let’s start with your morning routine. You grab a cup of coffee or tea or some other beverage, right? Well, don’t pour it all at once. Pour a little, repeat. Pour a little more, repeat. Feel the burn? Awesome, right? And best of all, you can do this all day long, no matter what you’re drinking – you’ve got to pour it. Switch to your left hand so you don’t develop lopsided muscles. Then repeat!
Time to sit in your chair. But wait! Don’t sit all the way down – are you crazy? You can use this as an opportunity to work those legs! Sit a little…hold it. Sit a little more…hold it. Feel the burn? No? Then hold it a little longer. Rise, repeat. In no time, you’ll have thighs like a hockey player. That’s worth it, right?
Before you know it, it’s lunch time! That leftover lasagna is no good to you cold – so heat that bad boy up in your microwave. How can that help you get into shape? Well, you have to press a bunch of buttons, don’t you? Press the first number, then pull your hand back and press the next one. Repeat. Again. Repeat. Feel the burn? Switch fingers, switch hands…try it behind your back. No matter, you’re workin’ those finger muscles! With all the typing you do, that can only help, right? Of course! Imagine how much faster you’ll be able to finish that manuscript with really strong fingers flying across the keyboard! Brilliant, isn’t it?
Be creative. I bet there are dozens of things you do every day that you can work into your own exercise regimen.
How about when you read a really poorly written book preview or a maddening book description/sales blurb? Or when you see your KDP royalty report? When you’ve got clumps of your own hair clamped down in your fists – don’t stop there. Flap your arms like a chicken and work those triceps!
There are plenty of ways to take advantage of the things we do every day to get us nice and svelt in preparation for our Academy Award for best screenplay. I’m not going to give away all my secrets here today. I need some to make sure the book and companion DVD sell.
[This product is not endorsed by Indies Unlimited. Always make sure to confer with a physican before beginning any sort of exercise program. – The Editors]
I like, oh yeah, I like.
Well, phooey. We’ve got one of those pod coffee machines at work. I’ll have to think of something else to work on my wrist muscles….
We have a pod at the office, too, Lynne. But you have to lift the thing in and out of the pod. So do it…really…slowly…and carry the mug back to your desk without spilling.
Lift that mug. Put it down. Lift it! 😉
Eh, I tried… 😉 And laughing works the abs…a bit of cross training while I read my KDP reports…
Did you know that it is possible to change the angle of your screen display by 90 degrees either clockwise or widdershins? If you divide your day into four parts, then you start with the screen at 90 degrees widdershins for the first quarter of the day, switch it back to straight up until lunchtime, then 90 degrees clockwise after lunch and straight up again until dinnertime. This provides an excellent stretch for the neck muscles.
The only slight worry is that widdershins is considered unlucky so make sure you do that early while you are still fresh enough to deal with any natural or unnatural disasters that might occur.
Winddershins, Tui? I think you’re speaking a different language. 😉
This one is too rigorous for me. I tried it and got widdershinsplints. 😉
1, 2, and scroll… 3, 4, and scroll…. Just reading this post has to be worth a spoonful of ice cream.
I must not be drinking enough coffee. 🙂
OK. I have been looking for a lifestyle that automatically incorporates exercise. Obviously, farming on a hillside isn’t it – this is! When frustration with a scene leaves me with muscle spasms, I obviously need to just go with it. I see that now.
I can balance on my hands in crow for twenty seconds. I like your exercise routine better. 🙂
Love this article!
Aw, thank you! 😀