Today we have a sneak peek from Author Russil Tamsen’s new flash fiction collection, Burst.
Slightly demented stories inspired by actual dreams. This collection of 130 quick reads is perfect for when you’re sitting on the john, or you’re needing a quick fiction nibble over lunch. Or you’re just feeling too A.D.D. to commit to a novel. Destined to become the kind of cult classic that William S. Burroughs would pass around to his friends. Also influenced by Tom Robbins and Chuck Palahniuk. BURST is full of memorable, off-kilter characters entangled in uncomfortable comedies of errors and misadventures: from a Guy Ritchie informed thug to telepathic aliens, and more!
Burst is available from Amazon.com and Amazon UK.
Here is an excerpt from Burst…
“Hey, Bernice, remember me? Santana High school? Francine Frog. We dated.”
Startled Bernice Budgie coughed up a beakful of soufflé as the loud frog took a seat.
“Yeah, that’s right. You and me baby, remember?” Francine’s long pink tongue shot out and snagged a fly that had lit on the table vase. She chewed it over. “Been a while, huh? When we broke up I remember you saying something ‘bout how I wasn’t classy enough for you. But I got over it. Look at me now, huh? Look at me now. I made the big time, baby.” Francine gulped down the fly, then she adjusted her thick diamond encrusted goggles. “Bernice. Honey. How the f*** are ya?”
“Francine? I… I… I hardly know what to say.” Bernice shivered violently to snap herself out of her solo reverie. She self-consciously began preening her frumpy feathers.
“Ya miss me, Bernice? Tell me you remember this talented tongue, baby.” Francine demonstrated by hitting a stain overhead on the ceiling, just because. She winked at her ex bird-friend. “So, what now? Ya gonna just sit there twitching, or do I get a great big hug already?”
Bernice stood up in a panic, like she was being prodded into the spotlight but hadn’t learned any of the dance steps.
The hug was a very slow dance. At first it was an airy, hips apart, frenemy embrace, but then it melted together into soft Sincerity.
Bernice felt those thin clammy arms around her feathery back and she had to admit they were somewhat comforting. Her flustered wings embraced the frog while her budgie eyes squeezed tight and her little budgie mind raced. The hug felt wonderful, true, but she had much bigger fish to fry today.
Sixty seconds passed but Bernice’s clutch was still not loosening. The squozen frog returned the perplexed stare of the other diners. She mouthed the word ‘awkward’.
“Francine?” Bernice whispered at last to the frog, choosing her words carefully. “Ya know, I did try to tell you back then, but you just didn’t want to hear me. I’m a nester. I like to rear babies, that’s all I’m good at, see? But you didn’t want to raise babies. Even if we adopted them. You just wanted to drop the eggs off in the nearest pond and hop off to have your fun. You and I? We were never going to be a good fit. We didn’t really have much in common… I mean, we’re not even the same species! Sure we’re both vertebrates. But I’m Class Aves and you’re Class Amphibia.” The mama bird’s voice began to rise into a squawk of frustration. “It’s true, Francine! You can’t just ignore the fact that we ARE from completely different classes!” Bernice’s eyes began to tear up.
“I guess that means that, er… you do not remember this talented tongue,” Francine pouted. The pair sat slowly back down. They stared desperately at the vase between them.