Today we have a sneak peek from Be Popular Now, the self-help book by Jonathan and David Bennett.
Companionship is a basic human need. But, no one is born popular and no school offers “Popularity 101.” Fortunately, lonely, frustrated guys now have a solution to their problems. Combining cutting edge research in psychology, brain science, and other fields with practical, proven tips, Be Popular Now is the authoritative handbook of male popularity. Every chapter is entertaining and informative, with concrete examples and practice exercises designed to make any man more popular. Increase confidence, approach women without fear, become the center of attention anywhere, and more! No matter how unpopular you are, becoming more popular is fun and easy.
Here is an excerpt from Be Popular Now…
As I was walking through an upscale mall recently, smiling and confidently approaching people to interact with them, I was struck by how different my life had become. Four years earlier, I had walked through that same mall, but with my head down, too shy to make eye contact with strangers. In addition, I was semi-depressed from a lousy job and on medication to combat anxiety. I sat down with a cup of coffee at Starbucks and just thought for a few minutes about how amazing my personal transformation had been. I was a completely different person. My body language had changed radically, I’d gotten off my meds, and my mentality had completely shifted. I literally saw the world in a different way.
In spite of the last chapter’s talk of change, from where you’re sitting right now, such a change may still seem impossible. This is especially true if you are in a deep rut. However, don’t be discouraged. I know from personal experience that change is possible! And, the joy that comes from personal change is unlike anything you’ve probably ever experienced.
Scientists have long known that the brains of children are highly “neuroplastic,” meaning that their brains can rewire as circumstances change. This explains why children can become fluent in a language quickly while you have three years of college Spanish and can barely say “hola.” Neuroplasticity is a mechanism that allows humans and animals to grow and develop into functioning adults with ease.
Psychologists used to think that adult brains lacked neuroplasticity. In other words, they believed that your personality and thought patterns were set in stone by the time you reached twenty-five years old. Now that’s a depressing thought for all people over twenty-five who aren’t where they want to be in life! Of course, that’s pretty much everybody in that age bracket. Thankfully, recent research has demonstrated that the adult brain has a good degree of neuroplasticity as well. This is an incredible discovery. It means that you can change your brain wiring at any age and watch decades old patterns and habits go by the wayside. Granted, the adult brain isn’t nearly as neuroplastic as that of children, but rewiring, with mental intention and focus, is still very possible.
If you think back to your childhood, you can see how unhelpful patterns, through repetition, wired your brain in the first place. Your mother may have been overbearing so you have trouble relating to women. Maybe you constantly heard from your first grade teacher that you were in the “dumb” reading groups, so you never aimed high. Perhaps your dad always criticized your lack of toughness, so you suffer from low self-esteem. These beliefs are now literally (and physically) embedded in your brain.
If unhelpful patterns and habits wired your brain in the first place, it follows that the best way to rewire the brain to be popular is to create new patterns and habits by acting and thinking like a celebrity.