Spam Deluxe – with Cheese

To end this year properly and start the new one right, we at Indies Unlimited wanted to break out the Dom Perignon and the Beluga caviar. Unfortunately, due to our budgetary constraints, we will instead be having  a box of Ripple and a can of Spam.

So, grab a red Solo cup, a paper plate, and help yourself to some of my favorite spam comments from the past few months, links deleted, of course. Remember, here at Indies Unlimited, we are sanitized for your protection.

Here is someone pitching web-hosting: “hey there and thank you for your information – I have definitely picked up anything new from right here. I did however expertise a few technical points using this website, as I experienced to reload the site a lot of times previous to I could get it to load properly.”

I think this guy was selling exercise bikes. Evidently, he is also on a mission.  “I’m not sure where you’re getting your info, but good topic. I needs to spend some time learning much more or understanding more. Thanks for magnificent information I was looking for this information for my mission.”

This one might have been the exercise bike guy again. Seems like a nice guy: “Fantastic goods from you, man.. I have understand your stuff previous to and you are just too fantastic. I really like what you have acquired here, certainly like what you’re saying and the way in which you say it. You make it entertaining and you still take care of to keep it wise. I can’t wait to read far more from you. This is actually a terrific”

Here is a nice try: “I don’t even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was good. I do not know who you are but definitely you are going to a famous blogger if you are not already”

This one was kind of creative: “My brother recommended I might like this website. He was entirely right. This post truly made my day. You can not imagine just how much time I had spent for this information! Thanks!”

This guy wants to help me optimize my search engine performance. Or download viruses to my computer. Or Both: “Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with a few pics to drive the message home a little bit, but other than that, this is excellent blog. A great read. I will certainly be back.”

I’m pleased to say that larnin’ is what we’re all about here at IU. This guy gets us: “Outstanding post, I conceive people should larn a lot from this website its really user pleasant”

This guy wants to open up the channels of communication. Yeah, I guess not. “Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it. Look advanced to far added agreeable from you! However, how could we communicate?”

It’s always nice to be thought of as educative.  “I’m impressed, I must say. Actually rarely do I encounter a weblog that’s each educative and entertaining, and let me inform you, you may have hit the nail on the head. Your idea is excellent; the difficulty is something that not enough people are speaking intelligently about. I am very pleased that I stumbled across this in my search for something regarding this.”

Clearly, either the translator was broken, or he is trying to activate sleeper agents with a code phrase. “On a par with pituitary chainsaw is the debut. Deafly telescopic ashlee was the astrophysics. Douras will be opportunistically stationing. Dock sartorially resiles after the venitian sailcloth. Lira has been established above the viscous horseshoe.”

Nice try, guys. I just can’t wait to see what you come up with in the new year. You might want to oil that pituitary chainsaw, they are most excellent, man!

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Stephen Hise is an author and the Founder and Co-Administrator of Indies Unlimited. For more information, please see the IU Bio page and his website:


Author: Stephen Hise

Stephen Hise is the Evil Mastermind and founder of Indies Unlimited. Hise is an independent author and an avid supporter of the indie author movement. Learn more about Stephen at his website or his Amazon author page.

9 thoughts on “Spam Deluxe – with Cheese”

  1. LOL Will I be thought of as a spammer if I say, "I larn'd a lot from this excellent message of which I am most honored to have read. May your pituitary chainsaw be well maintained for the new year and may your bank numbers have many digital growths throughout the annual accounting." Or maybe I should just say…Happy New Year, Stephen. May 2012 bring you much love, joy, peace and prosperity. You certainly deserve it!

    1. Many thanks to you for this excellent comment Linda. Oh my goodness, you certainly have displayed the information I seek most diligently.

      All the best to you and your loved ones, Linda! 🙂

  2. Dear Pheven: Your website is magnificent and large. Working with you is most educative and agreeable and I am thankful for that. Happy New Year to you and I look forward to a 2012 filled with Indie terrificness. I will certainly be back.


    1. I certainly do appreciate the content of your comments and the difficulties ensued. Do be cautions, however that your pituitary chainsaw is difficulty loading many time. You are expert blogger to be sure, and many successes upon you! 🙂

  3. I think some of those guys have visited my site from time to time! Does that mean I'm as famous a blogger as you are going to be or already are or whatever? Have a wonderful not-so-spam-filled New Year, Stephen.

  4. You made me think of spam fritters at school with lashings of tomato ketchup… we were so healthy in the 70s! 🙂

    I wanna see the viscous horseshoe… like what in the world of Saturn's rings is that? Poor horsey

    1. At least they were all generally positive. As my mother used to admonish me, "If you can't say something well, at least say something nice." 🙂

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