Today we have a sneak peek of Linton Robinson’s book, My Funny Valentine: America’s Most Hilarious Writers Take On Love, Romance, and Other Complications.
They say, “To learn to love, learn to laugh.” Either way, you’ll find the love of laughter, or at least some good laughs about Love, in this book. Valentine’s Day get treated by some of the funniest writers in America: the people who win humor contests, syndicate columns, appear on comedy stages, create the jokes on TV. An invitation to laugh at the joke that makes the world go around.
My Funny Valentine: America’s Most Hilarious Writers Take On Love, Romance, and Other Complications is available for Kindle and in print on Amazon.com and Smashwords.
And now, from My Funny Valentine: America’s Most Hilarious Writers Take On Love, Romance, and Other Complications
Be Romantic or Die
By Gregg Podolski
It’s Valentine’s Day again, that special day when men everywhere show their love and appreciation for the women in their lives by saying: “Happy what? Oh crap! Um, I’ll be right back.”
When it comes to purchasing Valentine’s Day gifts in a timely manner, guys generally fall into one of two categories:
- Men who buy expensive, thoughtful gifts several days before February 14th.
- Men who haven’t recently been caught having an affair.
This is not to imply that the only men who remember Valentine’s Day are philanderers. Some of them, for example, are only thinking about cheating.
As for the rest of us, it’s not that we forgot to buy anything–it’s just that we think it’s pointless to have a special holiday dedicated to loving our women when we already worship the ground you walk on every minute of every day. Plus, we forgot to buy anything.
Don’t worry, though, because we’ll make up for it by also forgetting our anniversary, your birthday and, occasionally, your name. It’s our little way of saying that we have no idea what we did wrong, but chances are we’re going to do it again.
Besides, we know that deep down women are really just romantic sentimentalists, that material things mean little to you and all you really want for Valentine’s Day is to spend some quality time with your soul mate. That, and a ring with a diamond the size of Portugal.
Making your Valentine’s Day dreams come true isn’t impossible, ladies. All you have to do is drop a few subtle hints in the weeks leading up to February 14th and you too can experience the singular, romantic joy of having several dozen dead flowers delivered to your office. (Suggestion: These subtle hints and reminders are most effective when your partner actually pays attention to what you’re saying. The best way to ensure that this happens, we’ve found, is by dating women).
The first step in your quest for the perfect Valentine’s Day present is to identify your significant other’s price range. To do this, simply take his weekly salary, subtract the cost of living expenses, multiply the remainder by the number of weeks left until Valentine’s Day, then toss that number out and go down to the nearest gas station to find out what they’re charging for
a dozen roses and a Snickers bar. This is what you have to work with.[subscribe2]
Funny. I like it. Nicely done.
Cute. Nice to see you around again Linton.
Thanks folks. I gotta say, loud, though, that this is not really "my" book. I edited with Karla Telega, but who wrote it was a group of 40 very fine, funny writers.
Oops, hit the button by mistake. I'm frequently glad I don't have an ejection seat.
It's funny, we conceived this as a paperback gift book from the start, but Barb Best, one of the contributors, said we should do an ebook as well. Well, last night it appeared on a Kindle newsletter and went nuts. People bought hundreds within hours and drove it up as high as number 15 on both the Kindle and Books categories for Humor. So we found out people buy Kindles even for books that would seem to call for physical paper. The paperback also bumped up, but we don't know how much it moved.
I mention this not just to indicate how cool we are, but as a tip that most indie authors already know: ebooks are where it's at, and there are venues for promoting them.
Thanks for the insight Linton! 🙂
A major lesson we got from this book, Kat, is the wisdom of strength in numbers. Obviously not that many writers are going to launch into anthology series, but I think a lot of people could benefit from some teaming up.
Let's say you know four or six or ten other writers that are friends, or "up your same alley". So you put together a story from each–maybe a story and chapter from a novel or other book. Edit it, format it, publish it as an eBook and everybody work on publicizing it in their own circles.
You'll get more performance than a one-man book, and a low-priced lead-in to your various work.
I think a major thing indies need to do, kind of ironically, is co-operate in groups.
Hey Lin, I agree. I've already done it once with one other author in a collection, and we're both using that book as our 99 cent "loss leader." That worked out so well I'm currently doing a project with 2 other authors. Not sure I have the courage to take on more than that, so kudos to you for going all the way with it!
Hi, all! I'm Linton's evil twin. We had so much fun putting this book together. Please be assured that no humor writers were harmed in the making of this book. My Funny Valentine will not scratch your furniture, leaves no discernible carbon footprint, and gives you minty fresh breath. It won't balance the National budget, pick up your dry cleaning, or give you a foot massage. We've got to save something for our next funny book.
Nonsense.
I'M the evil one!
Hey Karla, nice to meet you!