Narcissists as Authors: You’re Welcome

Bob Hammond with his new bookBob Hammond here. I know, no introduction is necessary in that my reputation as a best selling author and rival to “The Most Interesting Man in the World” precede me, but I wanted to make sure I had your attention.

There’s been a lot of hub-bub, to-do, and nonsense here recently on UI – what? It’s IU? IU, UI, whatever – about narcissists as authors. At least that’s what they tell me. Who’s they? You know, the same they that tells you using cotton swabs on a stick is dangerous for cleaning your ears. Well, good. I’ve cleaned my ears with cotton swabs while jumping on a trampoline because I live dangerously. In fact, you can read about that in my new book Bob Hammond: Living Dangerously.

That’s neither here nor on your street, but it’s right up my alley. In any case, Ms. Cantwell and Ms. Bowersock went on about some online article that I didn’t read because it wasn’t about me. Some guy made some ridiculously broad comment stating that all authors are narcissists because they like talking about themselves. This is not true, and I am unanimous in that. Let me tell you why.

I don’t write my books for me. I write them for you. I write them for you because I know you want to know what it’s like to be me. Now call me kookie – go ahead, I dare you, I’ll knock your lights out – but isn’t that the most altruistic motive possible for writing – giving so freely of oneself to others? Of course it is. Because I said so. And I wouldn’t steer you wrong. I thought I was wrong once – but I was mistaken.

So go ahead, little ones – write your books. But buy mine knowing that I write them for you, and that is the greatest gift you can give yourself. You’re welcome.

Author: Bob Hammond

Bob Hammond is the world-renowned author of two runaway bestselling series, The Hunger Game of Thrones, and Fifty Shades of Twilight. He is also the award-winning author of the historical novel, A Puritan in Zanzabar, and the self-help book, In Your Own Hands: A Single Man's Guide to Internet Romance. Don't tell Bob he is fictitious. It might hurt his feelings.

12 thoughts on “Narcissists as Authors: You’re Welcome”

  1. Thank you Bob! we all needed a laugh about that! You are definitely one Kooky writer and we, your adoring fans, love you for it! (hey, where did everyone go?) Anyway, thank you for setting the world straight on the whole Narcissists thing.

  2. Dear Bob,
    Hey, you’re not so bad looking, but have you seen the guys on The Kiss of Night cover? W.O.W. They haven’t shared their secrets yet…
    Personally, I agree with your erudite post. I know my readers are dying to know the color red I painted my toenails. My agent and I are going to plan a big reveal, one toe at a time. Stay tuned.

  3. Speaking of writer-narcissists, I just read an article about James Ellmore…brilliant guy, like many who adore themselves. Thanks Bob — that was fun.

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