Somulax: Double Duty


Indies Unlimited is proudly brought to you in part by Pharmatopia Laboratories. Remember, “pharmaceutical” is just another word for “love.”

Pharmatopia Laboratories (formerly CANEX Chemical Weapons), is pleased to announce the FDA has finally approved our new product, Somulax.

In these stressful and trying times, the two most common health complaints are insomnia and constipation. Somulax is the first combination drug formulated to address both problems. By combining a powerful tranquilizing agent with a harsh and fast-acting laxative, Somulax provides safe and effective* rest and bowel evacuation.

Let’s face it, with the job market the way it is today, you don’t need the boss timing your bathroom breaks, and you need good rest to get your job done right. Ask your doctor if Somulax is right for you!

WARNING: We recommend our Oopsie overnight pad be used when taking Somulax. Some users have reported side-effects including sleep-talking, sleep-walking, sleep-dancing, sleep-driving, sleep-fishing, and sleep-murder. If these symptoms appear or persist, contact your physician—we make drugs for that too!

*The government has now defined the criteria for “safe and effective” to be met when two out of three clinical trials result in a death rate lower than 50% in the study population.

Author: Stephen Hise

Stephen Hise is the Evil Mastermind and founder of Indies Unlimited. Hise is an independent author and an avid supporter of the indie author movement. Learn more about Stephen at his website or his Amazon author page.

6 thoughts on “Somulax: Double Duty”

  1. I don’t want the doctor involved – a waste of middle-man time. Make it available over the counter. And ignore the stats on how many investigations are ongoing into possible use in elimination of competitors and cheating spouses.

  2. 🙂 save the money on the pad. sleep on the toilet! buy my patented toilet seatbelt – fashion version are available. just click buy at

  3. Can I get the rights to market the product in Canada? If I can get it approved by our government health care program, they’ll put everybody on it.(That’s why Universal Health Care is so cheap. We give everybody all the same drugs, so we get them in bulk.) We’ll make a fortune.

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