Indies Unlimited is proudly brought to you in part by Pharmatopia Laboratories. Remember, “pharmaceutical” is just another word for “love.”
Pharmatopia Laboratories (formerly CANEX Chemical Weapons), is pleased to announce the FDA has finally approved our new product, Somulax.
In these stressful and trying times, the two most common health complaints are insomnia and constipation. Somulax is the first combination drug formulated to address both problems. By combining a powerful tranquilizing agent with a harsh and fast-acting laxative, Somulax provides safe and effective* rest and bowel evacuation.
Let’s face it, with the job market the way it is today, you don’t need the boss timing your bathroom breaks, and you need good rest to get your job done right. Ask your doctor if Somulax is right for you!
WARNING: We recommend our Oopsie overnight pad be used when taking Somulax. Some users have reported side-effects including sleep-talking, sleep-walking, sleep-dancing, sleep-driving, sleep-fishing, and sleep-murder. If these symptoms appear or persist, contact your physician—we make drugs for that too!
*The government has now defined the criteria for “safe and effective” to be met when two out of three clinical trials result in a death rate lower than 50% in the study population.