Getting It Right: Hot Tubbing

The hot water nearly singed her skin as she submerged, completely naked. She protected her breasts from burning with her hands, slowly removing them after the water was over her chest. Yet it was soothing, and as the water came up to her chin she could feel herself melting and becoming one with it. The heat seeped into her body’s sculpted musculature. The sky, still clear, served as a deep black canvas for constellations, stars, planets and the haze of the Milky Way. One star, just above the tree line, glittered in red and blue hues. Kathrin rolled her head all the way around, then touched her chin to her chest. She let her head fall back on the cushion. With both the underwater light and the jets off, she let the sights and sounds of the night surround her. The babbling of the brook just below the house echoed off the trees, magnifying its steady rush into that of a stronger river. A night bird called out. An owl answered. Steam rose up from the tub.

The continuous white noise of the creek and the heat of the tub lulled Kathrin into a state of deep relaxation. Her wrists went limp; her knuckles floated to the surface. The headrest cradled her neck perfectly. Her eyelids became heavy.

A cold blast of water from the jets and the accompanying hum of the motor jolted her awake. When her eyes opened, Kathrin had no idea how long she’d been out. The display read 103 degrees. She had been asleep long enough for the temperature to drop two degrees, and for her head to become a little light and her stomach nauseous. The night air instantly chilled the beads of water on her skin as she emerged. Steam levitated from her body like a slew of exorcised spirits. She wrapped herself in a grey bath towel, sluggishly pivoted the cover back over the spa, then went inside.

– An excerpt from Night Undone

Now, I bet you’re thinking, “What exactly was that all about? And what is there to know about using a hot tub?” You go right ahead and skip this article, then. I bet the woman who wrote the mystery about cooking her husband in their hot tub, or the romance writer who penned the passionate love scene in the hot tub wishes they’d read this. Because their scenes were WRONG. But that’s okay, you just go back to what you were doing.

“Wait, what do you mean you can’t cook someone in a hot tub?” you ask. I’ll tell you. In newer models (and I don’t know when this started), they have instituted temperature limits as safeguards on them – most can’t be set for over 105 degrees, which I find very disappointing since I now can’t recreate the lava hitting the ocean in Hawaii which brings the temperature up to 110 F. *sigh*

Also, the high-powered jets will shut off automatically after five minutes on most units. The slower jets will normally run as long as the filter cycle is on, but otherwise…not really enough to cook someone. In fact, if the jets have been off for a while, when they come on to bring the tub back up to temperature – if it’s winter time – they’ll be filled with cold water. Depending on how cold it is outside, that could be quite a shock – even to someone unconscious.

A hot tub would probably be a good place to store a DB (that’s dead body in case you didn’t know the law enforcement lingo…) if your character wants to confuse a coroner as to the exact TOD (time of death. Impressed yet?).

Okay – that steamy love scene? I’m going to have to tiptoe around this since Indies Unlimited is PG-13, folks. Let’s cover a couple of other points first and build up to an explosive climax!

The power’s gone out – it’s armageddon. There’s no water, and everyone’s dying of thirst and hunger. Your character’s family looks at him with a strange glint in their eyes. Eureka! he thinks. The hot tub! They’ve never put chemicals in it since it was filled, the water’s clear as can be…they can drink it! Two words: um, no. The heat of a hot tub is a breeding ground for bacteria and germs. If you want to have your characters boil the water and then drink it – you should check with someone who knows more about chemistry than I do. That’s just nasty stuff.

Chlorine is also not too kind to people – it can dry out your skin and throw off your body’s pH. Not kidding. Google that, and what kinds of problems that can cause for women. By the way, there are “friendly” chlorine substitutes, but algaecide isn’t one of them. Algae forms in water exposed to light, and most hot tubs are covered to hold in the heat. So you’d use algaecide in a pool, but not in a hot tub.

So now, your hero and heroine are together in their intimate hot tub love scene. The jets are blasting, massaging their aching bodies after their amazing world-saving feat. He leans over and whispers in her ear… STOP right there. Let me tell you something: when those jets are running full force, you can’t hear a damn thing. But that doesn’t stop them. Finally alone, they perform the act that unites them as one. Sorry, I can’t help rolling my eyes at that wording. But that’s okay because… Guess what? No, they really don’t. There are certain things that heat does to certain parts of the male body that can prevent them from getting to a really happy place. They teach that in high school biology. As far as the woman’s concerned, please see the previous couple of paragraphs. I’ll let you draw your own conclusions.

Let’s cool this down now, shall we? How many times have you seen a movie with a bunch of ski bunnies in the outdoor hot tub at the slope? It’s about 0 degrees F and they’re looking gorgeous and warm and happy. Well, more likely they’d have icicles hanging from their hair. No, not kidding. Even if the tips of their bangs don’t get doused in the water, the steam rising from the tub will collect on them and will eventually freeze. By the time they get inside to dry off, their hair will actually be crunchy with ice. It’s usually a clear glaze. Their noses would also be cold, as well as their ears. Basically, anything that’s not submerged is going to be cold.

Now, don’t get me wrong, hot tubbing is not a disgusting, cold, risky, and uncomfortable experience. It’s relaxing, soothing, therapeutic, and there’s no substitute for that deep heat. Just ask Special Agent Kathrin Night in that scene from Night Undone. Make sure to mind the details…and get it right.

Author: K.S. Brooks

K.S. Brooks is an award-winning novelist, photographer, and photo-journalist, author of over 30 titles, and executive director and administrator of Indies Unlimited. Brooks is currently a photo-journalist and chief copy editor for two NE Washington newspapers.  She teaches self-publishing and writing topics for the Community Colleges of Spokane, and served on the Indie Author Day advisory board. For more about K.S. Brooks, visit her website and her Amazon author page.

34 thoughts on “Getting It Right: Hot Tubbing”

    1. Not saying it’s not possible. Just saying that high school biology states that certain aspects of it may not be able to be accomplished due to the heat level of the water. And after reading about the bacteria and chlorine – would you really want to? Actually, you just gave me an idea – if a male character were able to complete the act – it could be the female character’s first clue that he’s an alien or alien hybrid. Hmmm….

      1. Your high school biology teacher was misinformed. If we’re to stay PG-13 here, you’ll have to take my word for it. 😉 You’re less likely to have a pregnancy result from a hot tub experience, however, mostly due to the effects of the heat.

        I can go into the biology involved, but a little medical reading will do the same thing for you. Your main point is still valid, though!

        Do your research.
        And don’t trust your high school biology teacher. 😉

        1. Thanks for keeping it PG-13, Kevin. I looked up what the biology teacher said online – and according to what I read, it didn’t claim it was impossible. I’m sure there are a lot of factors which come into play, no pun intended. 😉

          1. Gonna have to agree with Kevin here. I can say from first hand knowledge that having that kind of fun in a hot tub is, in fact highly possible, if not highly probable…and it’s not just for youngsters, either 🙂

  2. Very interesting set of, facts? I assume you are saying, “Be careful when structuring something in your story that may be #fastchecked.” Thanks KS you present an interesting background for serveral stories. Even a possible 250 word writing contest.

    1. Thanks, Bud. When I do research, if it’s not something I can experience first-hand, I always interview at least 3 sources to make sure I get a set of corroborated facts. Especially because I write faction, this is crucial to not only my mindset but my story. You can see here where I’ve tried things out myself: https://indiesunlimited.com/2012/06/21/dont-try-this-at-home/ There are story ideas everywhere, glad I may have inspired you with some!

  3. Getting it right – hot tub style. Now I think the best way to research a hot tub would be to – well – immerse yourself in one. Something I have not had the pleasure of. More’s the pity.

    So true, though, and if you don’t ‘get it right’ someone will catch you up on it.

    2. Nothing will discredit an author (or movie) in my eyes faster than getting the facts wrong. Once I roll my eyes, that’s pretty much the end of it. I hope you get to that hot tub, Yvonne!

  4. I’ve done the hot tub thing and can confirm ~most~ of these details from firsthand experience… knowing what you’re talking about may not always be possible firsthand, but you really ought to talk to those who do know before you take the plunge…Ahem. Nice post.

  5. As an interesting bit of trivia alchohol in large amounts and hot tubs really don’t mix well. Apart from the various reported physical dangers the hangover the next morning is just terrible. This statement is the result of intensive research, certainly not bad decision making. Ahem.

    I enjoyed reading this, thank you for the information.

    1. Good point. Long before I ever experienced a hot tub, I knew a guy who over-indulged before climbing into one. He sank to the bottom and got stuck to the drain…and ended up with a giant drain-induced hickey.

    2. Thanks Ben! Yeah, the heat and excessive alcohol are not a good combo from what I’ve heard. Thanks for confirming with extensive research! 😉

  8. See Kathy Bates and Jack Nicholson in “About Schmidt”, lol. The writers of that screenplay also dropped a working-class Denver neighborhood right in the middle of an enclave of hoity-toity homes, if I read my map right…

    Thanks for the info, Kat!

  10. Now if you really wanted to get rid of someone in the hot tub, mix in some everyday compounds with barium and calcium, after a little while, the right mixture would react aggressively with water giving off a highly lethal hydrogen-cyanide gas. The jets in the hot tub would mask the reaction and it would be given off as steam, and the hot tubber would only notice the smell of almonds.

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