It’s not easy dealing with all this fame and adulation. What’s a dog to do? All I want is to steal away for a hamburger. Fortunately, I am also a master of disguise. These kids will never recognize me now…
In 250 words or less, tell us a story incorporating the elements in the picture. The 250 word limit will be strictly enforced.
Please keep language and subject matter to a PG-13 level.
Use the comment section below to submit your entry. Entries will be accepted until 5:00 PM Pacific Daylight Time on Tuesday, December 4th, 2012.
On Wednesday morning, we will open voting to the public with an online poll for the best writing entry accompanying the photo. Voting will be open until 5:00 PM Thursday.
On Friday morning, the winner will be recognized as we post the winning entry along with the picture as a feature. Best of luck to you all in your writing!
Entries only in the comment section. Other comments will be deleted.
He slowly rolled over and woke up after his dream of lying in a field of hamburgers of all kinds—plain burgers, cheeseburgers, bacon burgers, double meat double cheeseburgers—and realized his owner had not come back with his hamburger. He stood on his hind legs, looking out the slightly open window wondering where his owner had gotten off to. She promised she’d be right back and she’d been gone for a long time now.
The many different food smells wafted through the window and he was getting hungrier by the minute. Where was she? He watched all the kids standing around the boardwalk games and food places wondering how he could possibly go get himself a hamburger.
Well, since he was a master of disguise, he switched his attention to looking around the car to find something he could put on so he wouldn’t be recognized. He maneuvered the owner’s floppy hat onto his furry little body. On his hind legs, he looked into the mirror and saw the hat wasn’t going to work. It covered him completely and if it wasn’t positioned just right, he wouldn’t be able to see where he was going.
He shook the hat off himself and ruffled around in his owner’s purse. When he pulled his face out, his owner’s sunglasses were perched upon his nose. Ah, success, the kids wouldn’t recognize him now. Suddenly, the door opened and there she was with his cheeseburger, along with fries and his favorite—strawberry shake!
I love cars, especially with the windows open. I love convertibles even more. But most of all, I love hamburgers. Forget the bun and the mustard, just give me the meat. It was me that coined the phrase “Where’s the beef,” you know.
So my chauffeur left the window open and went on some stupid human errand, grumbled something about a dentist. And I smell hamburger cooking. I’m gonna get me some of that. What’s that? They don’t allow dogs in restaurants? I know. That’s why I have to be clever – and I am. See that puddle over there? I’m gonna roll in it; it’ll make me the same colour as the street. No more cute little white doggie. These glasses? No, I’ll ditch them. Bling won’t work for this caper. This is one for stealth and invisibility.
Now, shake glasses off nose, jump out of window, run to puddle, have a good roll and I’m off to that tantalizing aroma. Yep, no one even notices. OK, slip by that customer as he opens the door. Whew! Close one. Almost lost a piece of my tail. Slowly, now. Patience. There. That server just grabbed a plate. It’s low enough. Jump! Got it!
“Hey, what the … Grab that mutt!”
The door opens and I make a dash for it. Mutt, indeed.
“I’m back … how did you get so dirty?”
I give her my most innocent look.
She shakes her head. “Let’s go home and have a bath.”
He had a real hankering for a good old fashion hamburger. Now most of you may be thinking well go get one. For most pups it would be no problem to run to the local hamburger joint. But Mr. Pish is not just any ole pup. You see he is a world famous writer. Where ever he goes children mob him. But never fear for Mr. Pish is also a master of disguise. He took a couple of minutes to come up with a plan. First he found a box and cut leg holes in it. He would need help from his ghost writer. He sent her around for the car. Mr. Pish grabbed his sunglasses and jump in the box putting his legs through the holes. Outside he went, walking toward the car. Then some children came by. Mr. Pish stopped in his tracks and pulled his legs in. He waited for what seemed like forever. Thoughts of that delicious hamburger going around in his head. Finally he heard the children leave. He made a dash for the car, going as fast as the box would allow. He jumped in the car and his ghost writer rushed to the nearest hamburger joint. Mr. Pish kept his head down until they got to the drive in window. He popped up with his sunglasses on and ordered his hamburger. He enjoyed his meal and went home.
Well, here I am headed off to the set. I have to wear these sunglasses to disguise myself from my adoring fans. It is such a bore getting up every day to the same old grind. “Time for your interview with the Westminster dog show people.” Alternatively, “Time for your interview on the Ellen Degeneres show”.
Oh, do not get me wrong. Sure, I love the fame and fortune. Who wouldn’t? In addition, it is true that I love being pampered by all my staff. However, sometimes, I just miss the good old days. The days back on the farm, when I was a puppy. The days of running around with my brothers and sisters, chasing after that old barn cat. Sometimes I long for the days when I could roll around in the dirt without some handler scampering over to me in a panic, to brush and groom my fur. The days when I could scratch behind my ear without someone screaming,”Oh my gosh, he must have a flea on him!”, and rushing me off the set to a grooming kennel. Does anyone ever consider that I enjoy scratching myself? Or that I just enjoy rolling around in the dirt? Sometimes I think about leaving all this tensile and glitter behind.
However, just when I think I have had enough, I realize it is not about me. It is about all those adoring fans of mine. Therefore, I put aside my wants, because after all, my public needs me.
I have such a great life! I’m really a lucky Pup. As I cruse around town in my limo, Brad Pitt totally has nothing on me.
“Oh driver be sure to not miss the turn for Pet Smart, I think I’d like some of those gourmet liver treats, before we head to the studio”. Yesterday the treats in the green room weren’t up to my standards. “Now, be a dear and get them, try to be quick I’d like to arrive at the Studio before Bella”. Bella requires so much time for hair and makeup that it infringes on my contract for how many tummy scratches I get before I run lines.
“Wait, why are you turning down this street? Isn’t that Vet’s Office on this street”. The last time I was there I had to set him straight about who he was sticking with that long needle. He obviously didn’t recognize me. He won’t make that mistake again. I do like his pretty assistant though. She smells so nice and I like the kisses she gives me. “I think you should run in first to make sure she’s there. I’ll just wait here in the car”. Maybe they won’t notice me if I hide in this box. That Vet is a little quick with the needle, if you ask me.
Well now that we finished at the Vet and I got a nice walk, I feel so happy. I’m ready to head to work now. If you can really call it work.
Oh no, looks like the Pup-a-ratzie are all lined up. They always try to catch me lifting my leg, Well not today, my friends! That pretty Vet Assistant took me for a nice long walk. I suggest you go see if Brad Pitt does something he shouldn’t!