Flash Fiction Star of the Week:
SP Mount

Congratulations to SP Mount, the readers’ choice in this week’s Indies Unlimited Flash Fiction Challenge. Thanks also to everyone who participated – excellent entries!

The winning entry is rewarded with a special feature here today and a place in our collection of winners which will be published as an e-book at year end.

Without further ado, here’s the winning entry:



Photo by K.S. Brooks

by SP Mount

‘Vuk… either these life-forms are takin’ phantasmagorias of absolutely piss-all, or they can see me. Huh… knew I should’ve checked the engine light at Mr. Zoob’s. Damn invisibility shield needs a good ‘seeing to’. Hah… GET it?’

‘Ye-s, she said, ‘we REALLY need one… EVERYBODY has one.’ Yeah RIGHT… now you see me… now you frikkin’ STILL do! Stupid Goggawoggianbittch; knew I should’ve married a Kardashian.’

“Oi… wot YOU gawpin’ at ya nosy Bastordians… never seen a three-headed Gargoylian-Angridrunkbum with Vemmonspittin’ warts before? Get OUTTA here.”

Vuk though… my third oesophagus will encounter the celestial belt if word gets back to the Intergalactic know-it-alls that these wankers saw me… jumped-up genetically designed condescending GITS; ‘we’re the boss of you and you and you. Agggh… got no more intelligence than a rock sample from Mars ya interferin’ three-eyed gonks.

These two look pretty dumb as well though, just standin’ there, gormless. Jeez, for all they know I could be here to annihilate this frikkin’ planet… mind you… lookin’ at THIS old rattletrap of a Star-disc; obviously couldn’t split a Promethian bar nut. Last time I buy from Creggslist.

Huh… but what an UGLY lookin’ species… even WITH my Fire-Punch glasses on… plenty of nosh on this planet… OBVIOUSLY! Pasty lookin’ specimens though… hmmm…. speci-mens… ye-ah… THAT’S what I could say… came here for spec-i-mens….

“Oi… buddy… get your Colosso-gigantipantis behind you there to give us a push, will ya… broke down here… there’s a probin’ in it for ya.”

Hah… suck-ERs!


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12 thoughts on “Flash Fiction Star of the Week:
SP Mount

    1. Yes, well, written in one of those mad few moments of respite from more serious works… always fun to write something ridiculous by just letting the ‘pen’ flow where it will. Glad you found it humorous. 🙂

  1. Talking of those, someone in my real life came by and asked:

    ‘You know this made-up words… how long did you take to think of those?’

    …which kind of blew me away a bit.

    ‘A few seconds’, I said ‘they just came into my mind’ – to which she looked kind of impressed for something I simply take for granted going on to say that she could never think of such things.

    But another reminder how a writer’s mind works differently from non writer’s, I s’pose, is the point.

    Happy you had fun reading it; was a whole lot of fun to write.

  2. Cheers TD; glad I could brighten your day a bit with an extraterrestrial angry drunk; it was a bit like being back in Glasgow when I wrote it. Lol.

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