“Welcome to Newark, a city in renaissance.” – A Continental Flight Attendant, 2002.
I never realized that there was anything wrong with being from New Jersey until I began to travel for business. It became quickly apparent to me that N.J. had a bad rep. How had I missed this? Had my highly-tuned female powers of observation failed me? Had I hidden in my subconscious mind the stigma associated with a N.J. birthplace? I decided to call my close friend, Bruce Springsteen, to see what he thought.
Of course, Bruce always takes my calls. We chatted for a bit about our projects, and compared what we were cooking for dinner. He wanted my recipe for crock-pot short ribs. I shared it, even though he never gives me a recipe in return. Finally, I posed my question, “Bruuuuce, what is wrong with being from our homeland?”
“Well, Wendy, when dudes fly into Newark airport they see oil refineries and rusty containers. The airport is filled with hood rats, and then you get on the Turnpike … a river of asphalt that flows from the gritty urban landscape to the twisted steel of Seaside. Hey, I like that. I feel a poem coming on — got to go, Sandy. Thanks for the recipe.” Ugh. Dissed again.
After extensive research, (calling relatives and friends in addition to my own experiences), here are just a few things that makes New Jersey a great place to live.
- N.J. has excellent food. Thin crust pizza rules. Italian, Chinese, Deli, Polish, French, Portugese, bagels … a cornucopia of food that you can drive into Manhattan for and pay ten times the price. Just don’t ask anyone to make you grits because they don’t understand what they are.
- The ability to revel in being close to the hustle and bustle of Manhattan without actually being in Manhattan.
- Having an Uncle Tony. Everyone has an Uncle Tony. My Uncle Tony, my godfather as it so happens, was an excellent bowler.
- Jersey girls go “down the shore”. We make this drive from Memorial to Labor Day. We do not go “to the beach.” We use the picturesque Garden State Parkway as opposed to the New Jersey Turnpike. And yes, we all have an exit. Mine was 156.
- The proud home of Rutgers, The State University, and a decent school called Princeton. These two schools played the first intercollegiate football game in 1869. Rutgers won. Go Scarlet Knights!
- We have fertile farmland that produces the best white corn I’ve ever eaten, and wonderful Beefsteak tomatoes.
- There are lots of professional sports teams to choose from, all of them better than Philadelphia and Boston teams.
- There is cultural diversity, and cultural events in wondrous excess. Museums, concerts, dance, movie marathons and theater. There is so much going on that it can overwhelm you. I will admit that a lot of the events, especially the museums, are in Manhattan, but many are in New Jersey at the former Garden State Arts Center. It has a new name now. Whatever.
- Christie is an outspoken governor who is going to tell you what he thinks whether or not you want to hear it.
- Conrad’s ice cream parlor in downtown Westwood is a local landmark. The entire restaurant is still the way it was when my mom would take us there for “minute meals” and ice cream. Due to a tight family budget this was a rare occurrence. Conrad’s makes everything themselves, including scrumptious chocolate. They were making incredible Easter bunnies long before cable TV made that art a contest. I had my first egg cream at Conrad’s. An egg cream doesn’t have egg or cream in it.
- If you’re a Jersey girl you can cuss with class and creativity. You can take someone down in such a way that they will never find their legs. Then, to make yourself feel better, you go shopping at the Garden State Plaza. Hello Nordstrom!
- Family, or in Soprano speak, La Famiglia. I remember many spirited discussions among my relatives, but I suppose that has more to do with being of Italian heritage. Family trips to my grandmother’s house, getting in trouble with my cousins, eating pignolli and anisette cookies, these are family memories I cherish. Yes, I did revert back to food. So many of my memories surround food and shared meals.
- Frank Sinatra is from Hoboken, N.J. Old Blue Eyes like Bruce Springsteen, may be imitated but never replaced. The Chairman of the Board and The Boss say so.
- I should mention the rock band Bon Jovi here. Jon still looks and sounds amazing.
- We say “cawfee” and “dawg.” Do not confuse a few eccentric aspects of our accent with those citizens who are from Queens, Brooklyn or Long Island. The N.J. accent softens and becomes less obvious the further south you were raised in the state.
- We are honest and will tell you what we think to your face. We won’t eviscerate you and gossip about you behind your back and then say, “… God love her”. We know that saying that doesn’t make a nasty comment okay. We will tell you plainly what we think. Take it or leave it.
So why, you might ask, do I live in Florida? We relocated here due to a job opportunity and fell in love with the weather and the wildlife. The Tampa Bay area is a great place to live. One thing I do not miss is a frigid New Jersey winter. We visit as frequently as we can to enjoy family and absorb the unique vibe that is the Garden State. I am still, in my heart and soul, a Jersey girl.
Down the shore everything’s alright,
You’re with your baby on a saturday night,
Don’t you know that all my dreams come true,
When i’m walkin’ down the street with you…
– Jersey Girl, song and lyrics by Tom Waits
Lois, you mentioned The Boss twice, but he isn’t on your list. Surely that makes it seriously incomplete. 😀
To this list I’d add filmmaker Kevin Smith whose first film “Clerks” was, IIRC, filmed in his home town of Red Bank (an indie film to boot). Also one of my personal favorite songwriters (behind the Boss, obviously) a guy named Greg Trooper (who probably no one who reads this has heard of).
Hey Big Al,
Bruuuuuuce is a list all by himself. 🙂
I have cousins who live in Red Bank. I have not heard of Kevin Smith or Greg Trooper, but will check them out.
Thanks for stopping by.
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE this post! Born and raised in Bergen County!
Thanks, I’m a Bergen County girl myself. I grew up just north of Paramus, the shopping capital of the world. The Garden State Plaza is like a city!
Nice to meet another Jersey girl.
And don’t forget the New Jersey Pinelands–aka The Pine Barrens — almost a million federally-protected acres in the middle of the state. I drive the 800 miles north from SC each year to hike the pine forests with their sugar-sand roads, kayak the gleaming dark rivers, and poke around in the tumbled ruins.
Of course I had to use the incomparable Pine Barrens as the setting for a few books. 🙂
Gloria, you are right. The Pine Barrens are an incredible ecosystem. Did you kill people and bury the bodies in the Pine Barrens? How did you use the PB in your books?
I also didn’t mention diners. Florida has chain restaurants. Floridians don’t understand the concept of a restaurant that stays open 24/7 where one person can get breakfast, one can get spaghetti, and the third can get lemon meringue. My husband always orders a pork-roll egg and cheese sandwich. So good!
Thanks for your comment.
I was a huge Bruce fan when I was a kid and had a somewhat romantic notion of New Jersey until… I had a connecting flight at Newark airport many years ago. I think the airport was under construction and it was just a mess. I should have driven to the shore and checked to see if Rosalita could come out tonight.
The latest greatest Jersey band is Gaslight Anthem by the way. Shades of Bruce in their music. Great post, Lois, made me remember.
Newark airport is a real adventure. I traveled through the airport a couple of times when they were doing the construction you are fondly remembering. It was a disaster.
Speaking of Rosalita, the last time I saw Bruce he performed the song, which he doesn’t do very often. It was the first show after Danny Federici died. Clarence was still alive, but not well. He sat on a red and gold throne when he wasn’t playing. The concert was in Tampa, and when we heard him getting ready to play Rosalita the place exploded. An amazing show.
I think I’ve heard Gaslight Anthem, will check it out.
Thanks for your comments.
Awesome post, Lois 🙂
Thank you!
Sorry, Lois, but I have nothing but bad memories of New Jersey:
1. Waiting for a connecting flight in the old People Express terminal at the Newark airport — no seats, no carpet, no plane.
2. Trying to find the Turnpike while driving back to Virginia from the Jersey shore in the dark. Why on *earth* is there no direct connection between the Turnpike and the Garden State Parkway? I got soooo lost…
I’ll shut up now. But feel free to complain about *my* home state of Indiana in return. I’ll probably join you. 😀
Oh, Lynne, I’m having People Express flashbacks now…
Oh Lynne, did People Express give out the bagels?
I don’t think I ever flew that airline. 🙂 Sorry for your and Laurie’s flashbacks.
The Turnpike is a crazy road full of people who think you know where they are going. I got used to checking out the tires to see if they turned right a bit to be ready to be cut off, especially when close to the Staten Island exits.
I’m sure the state is easier to negotiate now that the GPS systems can tell you which highways you can use to connect from the Parkway to the Turnpike. I will tell you that I believe it wasn’t planned that way because they are huge money making operations with separate kingdoms. When I worked for ROLM we had both of their phone systems, and they were my accounts. They employ lots of people and they are extremely political and protective of their turf. So, no connector road for you!
People Express was the Megabus of airlines, except the service wasn’t nearly as good as Megabus. Be very glad you missed ’em, Lois. 😉 And sorry for the flashbacks, Laurie….
I hate Newark airport so I can’t blame anyone who dislikes NJ because of it. There is a direct connection between the parkway and the turnpike, it’s just nowhere near the shore… figures, right?
I have never heard anyone say they love Newark airport. I just love to pretend to be really happy when I’m going through security. And super polite.
“Good morning.” (Big smile as I hand over my drivers license to burley security guard.) As often as not they smile back and I am sent to the shortest line. I guess people don’t smile at them and say “good morning.” It’s not their fault that travel has become so stressful. 🙂
Lois, this is FABULOUS! Okay, I make fun of Jersey a bit, mainly because my younger brother moved there, but that’s my duty as a sister. 😀
Don’t forget the fantastic Jersey blueberries. And the old brick smoke stacks in Garfield.
We had wild black berry bushes in the woods next to our home. One day I saw all the birds going crazy dive bombing something and fighting with each other. I checked it out and there were several shrubs loaded with huge berries. I ran inside, got a container, and picked them for my father-in-law. He was so thrilled. There were plenty left for the birds.
There were wild raspberry bushes down the road and I traded one year with a neighbor who picked them.
That’s the thing about New Jersey. It has a lot of urban areas and it also has rural. My neighbor had cows. 🙂
I love being a Jersey girl in Texas. It explains a lot.
A Jersey girl in Texas! There’s no stopping us.
Thanks for saying hello.
I am Jersey born and raised and so were all of my grandparents. We (my wife and I) lived in Tampa Bay for 6 years. You will get so tired of how clueless and standoffish people are down there and you will come running home. If not you are doomed to a lifetime bad pizza, no crashing surf, 9 months of oppressive unyielding heat and humidity and bugs the size of skateboards. Have those tiny ants found there way into your peanut butter jar yet? Go Rays? Uh No. At least you can watch the Yankees in training for free.
We all miss you even though we don’t know you. Come back to where you belong.
Loved your article!! Read mine on New Jersey, not Manhattan, clam chowder on my website
Lol Gary,
Ants in the peanut butter? How about a black racer snake in my laundry room–all three feet of him! Florida has made me a tough cookie when it comes to lizards, bugs, etc. He tried to get away, into the rest of the house, and I sprayed him in the face with Glass Plus. My husband swept him outside. We didn’t kill him.
I make my own pizza, and it’s darn good.
The heat is oppressive, and I hope one day to escape in July and August, hopefully back to New Jersey.
I have to disagree about the people in the Tampa Bay area. I have met many lovely people. That may be because I started to play tennis late in life and now play competitively. I can play all year round, outside. I don’t miss the winter or the grey skies. I love the weather in Florida.
I also root for the Rays and the Bucs, just not when they play the Yankees or the Giants. 🙂
And I would love to have your recipe. Cuisine is my thing.
Nice to meet you!
Lois, don’t forget the diversity of landscape, from densely urban to sparsely rural, mountains, lakes, the shore-both boardwalk and wild dunes, rolling hills of horse farms, rivers, and 4 seasons….and thanks, Laurie for the post.
Nancy,
I can’t agree more! That was what shocked me the most when I began to travel for business. Everyone thought I lived next to the smoke stacks of the oil refineries. 🙂
Thanks for your comments.
Spent 10 years station at McGuire/Dix/Lakehurst joint base. South Jersey is a whole ‘nother world. It’s green, there are trees and forests, there are probably more deer than humans (hunters there can’t shoot worth a darn!), and the state animal is the horse. I agree with North Jersey- the sky is GREEN, petro-chemical plants abound and everything is old and rusty. Jersey is a definite contrast in a state. I was happy to live in the south!
I grew up in Bergen County and we could go fishing, camping and swimming (illegally) within walking distance of my house. It is Northern New Jersey and is still beautiful to this day. A lot more congested and very expensive though , being right outside NYC
The part of Bergen County that I grew up in had no industry at all. I remember parks, bike riding, picking apples; very different from what most people think.
I believe the industrial counties in northern New Jersey are Essex and Passaic. Someone in the U.S. needs to do a bit of the dirty work, and New Jersey has been a manufacturing state for decades. Hidden in these hard-working manufacturing towns are fantastic little restaurants offering superb food at fair prices. You have to have the inside track. 🙂
Kathy, where did you see a green sky? That’s a scary thought.
Gary, The town I grew up in had a one pump gas-station and a strip mall with a Foodtown and a movie theater. There is a house where George Washington slept during the Revolutionary War. He slept a lot of places in Bergen County. 🙂
I am also a NJ native who moved to the Tampa Bay area (Anna Maria Island)! I grew up at the shore (Toms River / Seaside / Spring Lake Heights, just to name a few areas I lived in my 33 years) and went to Richard Stockton College in south Jersey, so my Jersey experience is way different. I don’t have the accent unless I try to do it on purpose. We did go to the ‘beach’ and would joke about the “BENNYs” ‘going down the shore’. It was a great place to grow up and I lived for the summers. My love for warm weather and sunshine is what brought us down here, but I’m still a Jersey Shore girl at heart. I do miss the pizza and bread though!
Anna Maria Island is lovely.
My in-laws lived in Toms River. They started calling people “Bennys”, too. They lived on the water, on a man made lagoon. It was their dream.
You were already “down the shore” so you didn’t have to go there. 🙂
I agree with you that the warm weather and sunshine is a big plus in Florida. Having the opportunity to live on Anna Maria Island would convince most people to move from wherever they live.
Nice to meet you!