Indies Unlimited is brought to you in part by Preparation G.
Our own independent studies show that persons working as independent authors are 73% more likely than those in similar professions (such as trapeze artist and professional bull rider) to suffer from hemorrhoids.
Preparation G was designed to get to the bottom of the problem quickly. The active ingredients are a secret blend of caustic chemical agents that bring soothing relief (after a brief few moments of unspeakable pain) by searing the nerve endings.
Remember, the burning shows it’s working!
Disclaimer: Preparation G is not approved for use on animals. Do not use Preparation G on stone or concrete surfaces. In the event some small amount of Preparation G is swallowed, contact a mortician immediately.
Some smoking may appear around the application site for a few hours after initial application, accompanied by moderate to severe burning pain. Some users have reported other side effects, but we assume they are liars. Preparation G is available wherever fine imaginary products are sold.
You never cease to amaze me. Where does this stuff come from? Snorted out loud.
Stop hinting around. There will be a pack of them in your stocking this year. 😉
Ooooooh.
Brilliant! Try marketing it to Dr. Stephen Colbert and Prescott Pharmaceuticals!
They wish!
Smile of the day. Thanks mate. 😉
Yours are on the way – plain brown wrapper as you requested. Of course, they are delivered in a big shiny truck with the company logo emblazoned on the side, so not really sure the plain brown wrapper is that helpful. 🙂
Ouch…
Yeah? A little bit, maybe, huh?
OMG hilarious! Stephen you made my day.
Thanks Virginia. 🙂
-giggles- Wicked! And so very, VERY funny 😀
I love this post. I prefer to learn to stand on my head rather than use a butt burner. Please send my packet along just in case.
What the f***!!