Paulie the possum has had it with eating berries and bugs. There’s a nice trash can over there, just brimming with goodies.
He can smell the pizza crusts, half-eaten hamburgers and yummy melon rinds.
All he has to do is get around that sleeping little white yapper over there.
This should be no problem for a skilled ninja-like possum like Paulie.
In 250 words or less, tell us a story incorporating the elements in the picture. The 250 word limit will be strictly enforced.
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“ Psst, hey you, yea little big mouth. I need to get by dude.”
“No way, my job is to keep your sneaking ninja smelly self out of our garbage. You ain’t getting by capice?”
“Capice? Is that Italian food?”
“Man, not only do you smell, but your are one dumb bunny.”
“You calling me dumb? In case you haven’t noticed, I am Possum, here me slurp. Bunny, how embarrassing.”
Paulie’s determined to get to the other side of yapper’s doghouse. Nirvana is waiting and it isn’t the Seattle band he’s talking about. GARBAGE!!! Glorious garbage! He can roll in it, chow down, and man, girly possums will love his eau de garbage fragrance. Think, not an easy job, but ninja is up to the challenge. Okayyyy, yapper is on a rope, hmm? Let’s see how far he can go. Paulie waddled, yapper grrrd. “Come on you roll of toilet paper, get me.” Good, Paulie thought, he can only get so far.
There’s a tree with one low branch, let me calculate (bet he can’t say calculate). “Get ready TP I’m coming in….” With that Paulie scuttled up the tree balancing on the branch and flew, “Here comes the ninjaaaaa.” Yapper didn’t have a chance; Paulie landed smack dab on the doghouse, shook his butt at TP and flew into the garbage can.
Ahh heaven! Ketchup smeared everywhere; Paulie couldn’t stand the pathetic look on yap’s face, waddled over and gave Mr. P half of his hamburger. “Don’t tell K.”
Paulie prepared himself for the assault. He focused his mind. He repeated the words his master Oh-Pee-Wan Possum had taught him long ago: “Ninjas do not sleep. They wait.” His stomach growled. He couldn’t wait much longer. He needed to fill his belly. Besides, that last lot of berries was playing havoc with his digestion.
The furry white yapper continued to snore. “Ninjas have two speeds. Walk, and kill.” He checked his claws. If it came to it, the yapper would be torn apart. “Help me Oh-Pee-Wan. You’re my only hope,” whispered Paulie as he prepared to scuttle past the sleeping form guarding the garbage Smörgåsbord
Paulie crept silently towards the bin. An eye opened and a growl emanated from the yapper. In an instant it leapt to its feet, teeth bared. They snarled at each other, testing each other’s courage.
“Impressive. Most impressive. Oh-Pee-Wan has taught you well. You have controlled your fear. Now, release your anger. Only your hatred can destroy me,” said the yapper.
Paulie launched at the yapper. Fur flew. The yard was filled with furious sounds as they attacked and fought. The garbage can clattered to the floor and released its contents. The duo paused exhausted and stared at the pile of food.
Paulie looked at the yapper. The yapper gazed at the food. Within moments they were devouring it together like old friends. Paulie smiled at his new friend. All would be well. He had converted him to the dark side.
Hi, Paulie the ninja opossum is the name. Being a ninja gives me special powers! Like the other night when I encountered an annoyingly loud white terrier while attempting a tip and grab on a neighborhood garbage can. I’d just crossed the asphalt river of opossum death (playing opossum works great against everything except a car.) It was then I spied an overflowing garbage can located beneath an oak tree next to a rather expensive looking house. Rich people throw away the most scrumptious food! But, between me and the food was a small white yapper scanning the yard in full guard dog mode. You know the type.
Well getting to the tree was no problem, but hanging upside down by the tail is pretty advanced even when you don’t have six in the pouch. Dangling upside down, trying to hold my pouch closed, and grabbing the gourmet left overs was a tall order! Well, my tail slipped and I landed amidst milk and egg cartoons. I sat frozen (if ever there was a time to play opossum this was it) waiting for the dog to wake up the entire block. What I heard next surprised me. The dog was, well, giggling. Quick like a fox (was he a fox terrier? Nah..) he tipped the can over allowing me to escape with my pouch full of kiddos and my dignity.
Maybe I’ll go back there tonight and just ask the dog if its okay to do some dumpster diving there.
Paulie the Possum had been watching the little white dog for over a week. He knew when she went outside and when they coaxed her back inside. Every night, he’d observed her prance past her people’s legs, quickly turn around to yap one last warning to potential intruders and then let out a huff of importance as the door closed behind her.
Tonight was different.
Paulie raised his nose to breathe in the smells that had wafted out while the door was open. Mmmm! Meatloaf! He just had to wait until the man brought out the evening’s discards and he will eat like a king. But that white fluff ball that the humans called Sassy would be right there behind the man, head held high, tail wagging like a flag proclaiming her elevated rank.
This night, Sassy stayed outside, marching like a sentry, nose to the ground. She scampered near Paulie, who skulked further into the shadows, holding his breath. Then she continued patrolling around the yard.
Paulie inched closer to the trashcan while Sassy curled in her doghouse to doze. Here was his chance! He scurried to the metal can and reached for the lid.
But suddenly the house door opened!
“Come, Sassy!” the man said.
Paulie panicked! Instinct told him to play dead. His muscles stiffened. He was paralyzed, helpless.
“What? A dead opossum?” the man growled.
He picked up the overgrown rat by Paulie’s tail and dropped him into the trashcan.
Paulie smiled triumphantly, whispering, “Dinner time!”
Paulie toyed with the grub he had just dug from the ground. He recalled his mother’s words, “Be thankful. Many little possums would be glad to have what you’ve got.”
Well, he wasn’t thankful. He was sick of bugs and berries. But tonight would be different. His sensitive nose had detected a bouquet of aromas coming from a large metal container. The smells were voices beckoning him to a fantastic feast.
Paulie moved toward the waiting smorgasbord. He was twenty feet away when he saw the small white creature asleep on the patio.
“Drats. A yapper.”
Paulie wasn’t about to let a little thing like a yapper keep him from the waiting feast. He remembered a picture he had seen of strangely dressed turtles with ninja powers. If a reptile named Donatello could overcome great odds and emerge victorious so could he.
Paulie crept toward the yapper. Suddenly the creature woke up. Paulie’s ninja training kicked in. He rolled over and played dead.
The yapper’s eyes widened in fear as he looked at and then past Paulie. It turned and ran yelping into the night. Paulie got up smiling a possum grin. This ninja stuff really worked. Step aside Donatello.
Paulie heard a sound behind him. He turned and saw the looming bulk of a black bear. In a flash, Paulie employed another ninja strategy. He ran as fast as his ninja legs could move down the same path the yapper had taken.
A masterfully mendacious marsupial, Paulie had his surreptitious sights set on a palette of prime pickings: yummy hamburgers, tasty pizza crusts and juicy melon rinds.
As always with these missions, stealth and cunning would be the key. The spoils would be his if he managed to get to the buffet without waking the obnoxious little furball blocking the way. If not, he’d be stuck with a bland diet of bugs and berries. Motivated by that thought, he crept forward.
Just feet into his quest, the nipper stirred. Paulie reacted instinctively, his secret agent skills honed by rigorous practice: He froze. Not merely a stop, this was a Ninja Freeze, a complete and immediate cessation of movement that all double-O ‘possums knew made them invisible. The maneuver never failed.
Several Ninja Freezes later he made it to scavenger Nirvana, salivating as he stuffed the remains of a piece of pizza into his mouth. It took a few seconds for the burning to start, but when it did it was an all-consuming fire. Spluttering, Paulie spat it out and moved on to a half-eaten hamburger.
But when he bit into that, something bit back! It was even spicier than the pizza. Yowie, what did these creatures eat?
A bit of melon turned out to be the only thing that didn’t hurt him; gratefully he gorged himself on it before waddling back to his den.
Bugs and berries weren’t so bad, Paulie decided. Bland was an underrated flavor.