Long before the interwebs dubbed them “epic fails”, I used to collect such stories in the dimly-lit, ironic laugh-a-thon I call my “mind”. Like the bank robber who wrote his holdup note on the back of an envelope that not only displayed his own name and address clearly and almost heartbreakingly, but also that of his parole officer, upper left corner, return address. Then… he left the envelope. Or a different guy—surely related via some spectacular yet hitherto undiscovered boneheadedness gene—who held up the teller with a rifle… but left the cork plugged proudly and prominently in the end of his painfully-obvious-to-everyone toy firearm.
Anyway, that’s a trip down Fail Boulevard. And highly amusing as that journey undoubtedly is, I want to explore another part of town: Success Street. Success. Even the word itself sounds like it tastes good (cf: succinct, succumb, succour, succulent). Yeah. Did I ever mention how much I love words? So much so I want to eat them. With bacon. And chocolate-dipped seahorse roe.
Like any industry, a writer’s salary isn’t immune to the uncertainties of a wobbly economy. While a diversified portfolio that includes such skills as ghostwriting, editing and consulting enables you to switch gears when your wellspring of regular publishing markets run dry, being able to attract media attention should be just as critical an element in your business plan. When prospective readers are exposed to the positive publicity your name and talents consistently generate, their reaction is going to be that your “celebrity” credentials make you an expert worth seeking out and that your book is a must-have for their shelves.
(Note, this post should be read with your “tongue-in-cheek” detector on its highest setting) 😉
If there is one thing readers hate, it’s exposition. If there are two things, the other is main characters who aren’t physically attractive and they don’t want to have crazy monkey sex with. But if there is only one, it is that blasted expository writing. Continue reading “Ed’s Really Bad Writing Advice: Exposition”